Troublin' Times

Trouble's Tall Tales: My New Gourmet Food Line

2012-03-08T07:49:00.000-08:00

-OR-

How I Re-Invented The Cat Food Industry

Kitties, I have had a very busy week. I have just returned from Los Angeles. I was asked to go and assist with the development of a new line of cat food. They asked me to help because of my recent, highly successful Food Network Cooking show: Cooking With Callie.

Of course I couldn’t just travel without ensuring that I would be comfortable, I gave my handlers a list of my basic needs. They included: imported water, mink throw for the limo, fresh shrimp and caviar platter, my own personal chin scratcher and fish flakes. I also asked for a security team and that the limo driver does not make eye contact.

When I arrived, by private jet, I checked into the Beverly Hills Hotel Presidential Suite. Before my meetings started, I was invited to grab a bite at Wolfgang Pucks place. While I was eating, I was approached by the producer of the Bachelor/Bachelorette series begging me to be their next Bachelorette. When I told them that I am no longer available and that my Sweet Ba-Boo, Kozmo was now my boykitty friend, he started crying. He got my crab cakes all soggy and salty!

My cat food line – Callie’s Cuisine for Cats – is still under development, but here are some flavors you can look forward to.

1. Wood Oven Roasted Rabbit in a silver vine sauce topped with roasted crickets

2. Pan Roasted Mouse basted in chicken stock with fresh grass

3. Grilled Shrimp and lobster in a Chilean bass mousse

What is your favorite?

Top Seven Ways to Annoy Your Sisfur - Sassy's Response

2012-03-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

Kitties, Sassy here. I have taken over the blog today. Yesterday ~~the little brat~~ Callie posted ways to annoy me. What she did not post was what happens when she pulls these tricks. And so here is my advice to brofurs and sisfurs whose has these tricks pulled on them:

1. Wait until she is asleep, then wake her up to ask if she is asleep. (Sassy – promptly apply smacky paw. Continue applying smacky paw until you see stars circling above the head of victim. You may stop then.)

2. Splash water in her dry food bowl, then watch her try to figure out why her food is mushy. (Sassy – do the same to her bowl…and you do not necessarily have to use water as your fluid, hehe….)

3. Sprinkle hot pepper on her favorite mousie toy, then watch as she rolls around trying to wipe the taste out of her mouth. (Sassy – this one is a little hard, but try not to react when it happens, then enthusiastically thank her for adding the great flavoring to your mousie. This will make her crazy.)

4. Hide her ESS, but when she asks if you have seen it, say of course, “its right there – don’t you see it? Oh, no, poor Sassy!” (Sassy – say oh, yeah, there it is, then go over and paw the air as if you are sharpening your claws. )

5. Copy a random picture off of the internet of a boy kitty, send her an email from anonymous server saying that you are an admirer. Then sit back and enjoy watching as she tries to figure out who he is. (Sassy – what, he isn’t real…NNNNOOOOOO!)

6. Wait until Mommie has left the house to go shopping, then tell her that Mommie told you she was going to pick up your new “Brofur”. (Sassy – I am not worried about this one. I think that I have made myself perfectly clear to Mommie what would happen if she pulled this on me.)

7. Sign her up to receive junk mail from AARC (American Association of Retired Cats). (Sassy – thank her for the great discounts your AARC membership gives you on catnip. Tell her you are sorry she can’t have any. )

Top Seven Ways to Annoy Your Sisfur or Brofur

2012-03-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

Kitties, as you may know, my favorite hobby is annoying Sassy. I have decided to share my knowledge. Feel free to try out any of these tricks on your brofurs or sisfurs.

For purposes of this article, I use the pronoun “she” since I only have a sisfur – but these tricks would work just as well with a brofur!)

1. Wait until she is asleep, then wake her up to ask if she is asleep.

2. Splash water in her dry food bowl, then watch her try to figure out why her food is mushy.

3. Sprinkle hot pepper on her favorite mousie toy, then watch as she rolls around trying to wipe the taste out of her mouth.

4. Hide her ESS, but when she asks if you have seen it, say of course, its right there – don’t you see it? Oh, no, poor Sassy!

6. Wait until Mommie has left the house to go shopping, then tell her that Mommie told you she was going to pick up your new “Brofur”.

7. Sign her up to receive junk mail from AARC (American Association of Retired Cats).

Secret Crush Revealed

2012-03-04T08:02:00.000-08:00

Kitties, I am so excited and very nervous! As several of you guessed, my not so seccret crush is the handsome and brave Kozmo. I heard from my best friend's brother's cousins hairdresser heard Kozmo say that he thought I was cute! I have asked Nellie to check and see if he has a girlkitty friend. I can't wait to hear back from her.

Ode To My Secret Crush

2012-03-02T06:09:00.001-08:00

Kitties,

Today I am going to do something a little different from my usual Friday Song. Lately I have started noticing how many handsome boy kitties there are in the blogosphere and I must admit to having a bit of a crush on at least one of them. Now I would tell you who it is, but of course a Lady Kitty never practice kisses in the mirror and tells! Can you guess who it is from my poem “Ode to My Secret Crush”?

I have a secret crush I must boast.

When I go Google Reader

And see that he, not his sibling(s) has posted

My little heartbeat becomes a Speeder!

His handsome fur glistens in the light

Highlighting his beautiful markings

His jewel toned eyes are ever so bright

I hope he does not think my flirting is just a lark!

I wonder if my secret crush

Knows if I exist

Will he blush

If I give him an internet kiss?

Trouble's Thursday Adventure: The Grocery Store

2012-03-01T07:04:00.000-08:00

How Trouble Saved the Grocery Industry From Ruin

Kitties, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I had a very exciting adventure at the Grocery Store to tell you about. The bad news is that since I **may** have posted something earlier in the week about Sassy’s bed that angered her, Mommie made me take ~~Old Lardbutt~~, er, Sassy with me on my adventure this week.

Callie’s Adventure

One day this week I awoke to the awful realization that we were completely out of cat food. I don’t know how this happened, possibly because Mommie has been on a 5 day drunk and passed out cold on the floor. Well, since we had not been fed in almost three whole hours, I knew that I had to do something fast or face total starvation within the hour.

I grabbed Sassy and quickly ran and jumped into my specially modified corvette (correctly called a catvette). Stuffing ~~Old Lardbutt~~ Sassy into the front seat was difficult, but shortly we were ready to zip off to get some emergency food and maybe some coffee to sober Mommie up. I did not get to the store as quickly as I had hoped, due to having to stop and help a woman on the side of the road who had gone into early labor. She had triplets and it was a good thing I was nearby as Sassy didn’t do anything except wring her paws and say “Oh, Lordy, Miz Callie, I don’t know nothing about birthing no babies!”.

Unfortunately, this delay meant that it had now been four hours since food. I was starting to feel weak and light headed and Sassy was gnawing on the dashboard. Luckily I did not have a look for a parking space for my Catvette, the store, in hopes that I would visit more often, has a specially marked “For Callie Only” parking space up front.

Between being asked to give diet tips (everyone likes to receive diet tips from a world famous model like me) and signing autographs, it took almost 30 minutes to pick up my weekly supply of caviar and filet mignon. After having my picture taken with the store manager (he was so proud I picked his store to shop in), it was time to stuff Sassy back into the front seat of the Catvette and return home.

Sassy’s Adventure

I have no idea what this annoying little furball is talking about. One day this week Mommie did go to the store to buy some hamburger. When she returned, Callie woke up long enough from her nap to stiff at the bags….although how she got drunk Mommies, women giving birth, special parking spaces, and filet mignon out of that, don’t ask me!

Almost Wordless Wednesday: Foot Fetish

2012-02-28T17:45:00.000-08:00

I like to have a good foot to gnaw on every now and then.

Whatcha Gonna Do About It?

2012-02-27T17:23:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I am in your bed...so?

Good Dreams

2012-02-26T17:20:00.000-08:00

I am dreaming about...freeze dried noms....Mommie's lap....whapping Sassy...and a few very cute boycats...

Friday Songs With Callie: Amazing Grace

2012-02-23T16:57:00.000-08:00

Kitties, after yesterday's adventure, I of course had many, many private requests that I sing my version of Amazing Grace (How Sweet the Meow) today. You will notice that there is only one verse to this song. That is because usually by the end of the first verse my audience is so moved - in fact usually weeping - that I never finish the song. Get your tissues ready!

Amazing Grace, how sweet the Meow,

Sassy wishes she sang like me….

But her voice has no ka-pow,

I sing like I am on Glee.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the Meow!

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

Callie's and Sassy's Shared Adventure

2012-02-22T16:34:00.001-08:00

Callie Saves the City of Dallas

Kitties, as you know, one of Sassy and my counselor’s requirements was that I share one of my adventures with Sassy. So on this adventure ~~old lardbutt~~, hmm – I mean Sassy came with me.

Callie’s Version

So there I was, reading the Wall Street Journal, checking on my stock, when suddenly I received an urgent call from the Chief of Police for the City of Dallas. There was a 5023 (catnapping in progress) and he was desperately needed my assistance. I grabbed Sassy and jumped into my helicopter. Of course I was the pilot. I flew at maximum speed, swooping over and between buildings, arriving in record time. The Chief of Police immediately rushed over to give me the details. A crazed suicidal dog had catnapped the beautiful Miss Kitty. He was threatening, if his demands – one large bone, heated doghouse and a willing easy poodle – not met, Miss Kitty was doomed.

After quickly assessing the situation, I realized I first needed to calm the frenzied mad dog down. So I grabbed the bullhorn and started singing “Amazing Grace (How Sweet The Meow)”. By the time I finished, there was not a dry eye in the house. The crazed dog walked out and stated that he was so moved by my song that he wanted to not only confess to this crime but another he had committed. Even some of the police officers said that they were going to take early retirement and teach singing to jail inmates. Miss Kitty came out to thank me personally and said she was going to name her first kitten after me.

Hopefully, sharing this moving experience with Sassy will bring us closer!

Sassy’s Version

We were sitting around idly licking our fur when we heard about a catnapping over the police scanner. Now, the police have asked Callie to stay away before, but since this was only a few blocks over, she insisted on walking over to the scene of the crime.

I am not sure the police even noticed we were there, until Callie opened her mouth and started screeching. It was horrible! Grown men started crying. The catnapping dog immediately rushed out and said that if the police would stop that noise he would not only confess to this crime, but would confess to any other crime the police had open. Several of the police officers were talking about having to take early retirement due to the trauma. Miss Kitty came out and told me the pain of that noise was so bad that she may never be able to have kittens.

OMC – I just realized she going to be singing again tomorrow, isn’t she!

Smacky Paw Failure

2012-02-21T15:37:00.000-08:00

From Sassy:
Okay, the Smacky Paw might have seen some action today. BUT, as the video below shows, ITS NOT MY FAULT. Trouble started it.

(From the Mommie: This is my first ever video I have done - please forgive the poor quality, I definitely need to learn more! I wanted to share this, because if you watch Trouble's face at the beginning, you can just see her thinking...."Should I or Shouldn't I? Hehehe!")

Ten Questions For Us

2012-02-20T16:55:00.000-08:00

Kitties, at the beginning of last week, we were lucky enough to get tagged by the Celestial Kitties. Because of the whole court ordered counseling sessions, we are just now able to answer. Thanks Star and Leo – sorry it took us so long to answer

Here are the questions:

#1. Describe yourself in seven words

Callie: Trouble, ambitious, mischievous, sneaky, creative, playful and curious
Sassy: bossy, cautious, stubborn, set in my ways

#2. What keeps you up at night?

Callie: Trying to remember where I put my milk ring

Sassy: Worrying about what Callie is up to

#3. Who would I like to be?

Callie: Internet Star!

Sassy: An only cat

#4. What am I wearing right now?

Callie: High fashion calico fur

Sassy: Beautiful soft brown tabby fur

#5. What scares me?

Callie: Not being recognized by my public

Sassy: That Mommie won’t stop at just one sisfur for me

#6. The best and worst of blogging

Both: We agree with what Star and Leo said – the best is meeting new kitties and their hoomans. The worst is reading a really great post on someone’s blog, but not being able to come up with a good reply!

#7. The last website I visited

Star and Leo’s blog to get these questions

#8. What one thing would I like to change about myself?

Callie: Nothing, why would I change perfection?

Sassy: I would like to be less scared of the vacuum cleaner – that thing is evil

#9. Slankets, yes or no?

Callie: No, I do not get cold often

Sassy: Yes – I love being covered up!

#10. Tell us something about the person who tagged you

Callie: I think Leo sounds like a lot of fun, plus lately I have found boy kitties to be very interesting….

Sassy: Star is also an older sister – she knows my pain.

From Sassy:

Smacky Paw Update

Day One of the Torture

Its been almost seven hours since I last got in a good smack. I can feel my paw losing its strength. I don't like the way Callie is looking at me...but can I do anything about it? NO.

Smacky Paw Update

2012-02-19T17:20:00.000-08:00

All day today, Sassy has been running up to me, smacking me on the head and then running off while shouting "It's not midnight yet!"

Ouchie!

My poor aching head!

How soon until midnight?

Friday's Song With Callie and Sassy: Friends In Low Places

2012-02-16T15:34:00.000-08:00

Kitties, today I am singing a duet with Sassy. I didn't want to, but the counselor is making me. I had to look long and hard to find a song that could be sung by a cat with a voice like a frog! Our song today is "I've Got Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks.

Sassy wears a brown fur suit,

Callie is a calico dilute,

Together we have to sing this song.

Ordered by the Court,

To sing our part,

This is Assignment #2 we are doing here.

‘Cause we got friends in low places,

Where the Catnip Smells,

And the Valerian chases our blues away,

But we’ll be okay,

Now we’re not big on social graces,

There’s kitty litter all over the floor,

Oh we got friends,

In low places.

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often
(unless you are Sassy, in which case -- don't, just don't)

From Sassy:

Smacky Paw Update

Three Days Until The Torture Starts

Okay, so I agreed to No Smacky Paw for 5 days. But I didn't agree to no bunnykicking....or no bitey....or no holding her down until she squeals like a pig...

hehehe.

Can This Relationship Be Saved: The Counselor's Turn

2012-02-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

Kitties, lately Sassy and Callie have not been getting along well. They have been sent to a relationship counselor. In effort to help all of the brofurs and sisfurs out there get along, their session is being reported here. Today’s session is the conclusion featuring the counselor’s final thoughts and recommendations.

Good Day Kitties, I am Sassy’s and Callie’s counselor, Dr. Ivana B. Akiti. I have met with both Callie and Sassy regarding the difficulties they have been have getting along together. Let’s discuss Sassy first.

I found Sassy to be very self-contained, reserved cat. Sassy and her brothers were tragically abandoned by her father ten minutes after conception and her mother at six weeks. Unfortunately, Sassy’s brothers were bigger than her and behaved very aggressively to her. These events have resulted in Sassy needing to control her environment and hating any change.

Callie was a very interesting kitty. Due to the high volume of cats at the shelter, Callie craves attention in order to stand out in the “crowd”. She has a very developed sense mischief. She has earned her nickname of Trouble. And I did notice that she occasionally exaggerates.

Basically, what we have here are two very different cats. Callie loves the spotlight while Sassy wants to fly under the radar. Callie loves to poke fun at Sassy, but Sassy has very tender feelings. I think the key to this relationship is to find a middle ground for them.

I have given Callie and Sassy three assignments to complete. They must complete these assignments or return to counseling.

Assignment 1: To encourage them to spent time together, Callie must take Sassy with her on her next adventure.

Assignment 2: To teach them to work together, Sassy and Callie must sing a duet Friday song.

Assignment 3: To encourage Sassy to show more tolerance for Callie, starting at midnight on Sunday, Sassy must go 5 days without once using the smacky paw.

Next week will be a test for these kitties. Stay tuned for updates.

Can This Relationship Be Saved: Callie's Side

2012-02-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

Hello, I am Callie. I am a beautiful one and half year old dilute calico. My story starts at the Dallas SPCA, as I really do not remember an earlier time. Picture it, December 2010. I was three months old, but still a tiny baby, only two pounds. There were about a bazillion other kitties at the shelter. When people would come into the shelter looking for their forever kitten, I was so small; no one ever paid any attention to me. That is when I realized I would have to make myself stand out. I started intensive voice training, obtained my doctorate, became a worldwide fashion model and started consulting for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigations). It was a very busy week. My chance to break out of the joint came when my soon-to-be forever Mommie walked in. I waded my way through the bazillion cats around her and to get her attention, gave her ankle my best karate chop – you know the one that I won the Olympics with. I also sang a few bars of my newest worldwide hit single. It worked! She picked me up and didn’t let go of me until the adoption papers were signed.

On the way home, Mommie told me all about my new sisfur, Sassy. I was looking forward to meeting her. Maybe I would even let her cut a bestselling duet with me. When I first saw Sassy, I graced her with my sweetest meow. Imagine my shock when she slapped me across the jaw so hard I saw stars! I was crushed. This was the sweet sisfur my Mommie told me about?

Due to my past experience as a hostage negotiator with the police, I knew immediately I had a problem. Sassy would not speak to me except to say that’s my bed, my Mommie, my mousie, yada, yada. I soon realized that to get Sassy to love me, I had to get her attention the way I had gotten Mommie’s attention at the shelter. I tried singing to her – she said I was making her ears bleed. I tried showing her some of my gold medal winning karate moves (and yeah, maybe a few of them “accidently” hit her) – she hissed at me. I tried to give her some of the diet and fur styling tips I learned in Paris when I was modeling – she snarled that she was big boned, not fat and gave me the smacky paw. Yes, I know that I should have just given up that first week, but to be honest, I soon discovered that annoying Sassy is fun. A lot of fun! Trying to egg her on just to the point of smacky paw is almost as much of a rush as skydiving.

Sassy whines to Mommie that I am starting false rumors about her. That is not true. Sure, when she was recently dehydrated, I may have told a few hundred cats that she had a drinking problem. Can I help it if they assumed that meant that she drank TOO much, not enough? She whines that I am stealing her Mommie’s lap. You haven’t met my Mommie, but trust me when I say that lap is more than big enough for two cats!

I want the loving sisfur my Mommie promised me. One that I can go on adventures with and that will sing along with me. Sassy is just too serious and responsible. She keeps pushing me into the laundry room and trying to make me stay there. That will not do at all. The laundry does not have any windows. How will my adoring public stay in touch with me back there?

Stay tuned tomorrow to hear the counselor's recommendations for this relationship.

Can This Relationship Be Saved: Sassy's Side

2012-02-12T14:49:00.000-08:00

My life started out a little rough. When I was only six weeks old, I was abandoned by my birthmother and put in a small cage at the shelter with my three brofurs. They were mean and bad. They beat me up every day. When I first saw my Mommie, she walked up to our cage and asked to see me, me – not my mean brofurs. I loved my Mommie at first sight, but was very scared. Could I trust her? Would she abandon me like my birthmother?

We had a wonderful six years together, then disaster struck! IT was adopted. Trouble. When I first saw the skinny little brat, I couldn’t believe my eyes. What was this, was I being replaced – abandoned again? As I looked at her, she let out this high pitched meow. I reached out with my paw to gently touch her, that make sure this was real, not some nightmare. Suddenly, my perfect world was altered. I had a mouthy, constantly singing, little sisfur with a wild out of control imagination. AND Mommie was yammering on about how I needed to “love” my baby sisfur!

Maybe I could better tolerate this little intruder if she was not always egging me on. She constantly mentions how I weigh twice what she does. I am not overweight, I am big boned and fluffy. She gets in MY bed, getting her stinky furs on it. She starts rumors about me. Recently, I found out at the VET that I was dehydrated. Callie ran around telling everyone I had a “drinking” problem!

Lately, Callie has tried to put the smacky paw on me. I had to put up with my bigger than me brofurs beating me up when I was younger, I will not let this skinny little brat get away that. I have tried to work this out with Callie. We live in a 12 room house. I have told Callie I would let her have one whole room to herself (the laundry room), if she would just stay out of the rest of MY rooms! I believe that, since I was here first, this is a fair division of property.

Stay tuned for Callie's side of the story tomorrow.

Friday Songs With Callie: Brown Cat

2012-02-09T16:42:00.000-08:00

Kitties: Today's song needs a little 'plaining. Sassy and I have been arguing a lot the last couple of days. She says its because I'm a little brat, I say its because she is bitterly jealous of my beautiful colored spots, since she is just a plain ole brown cat. Mommie says she is going to make us go into "relationship" counseling! Today's song, sung to the tune of Elvis Presley's Hound Dog, is one that I admit I have been taunting Sassy with today. Maybe this has something to do with Sassy's attitude? Nah, that couldn't have anything to do with it!

You ain’t nothin’ but a brown cat

Meowin’ all the time

You ain’t nothin’ but a brown cat

Meowin’ all the time

Well, you ain’t never caught a mousie

And you ain’t no friend of mine

You said I attacked you Sassy

Well, that was just a lie

You said I started it Sassy

Well, that was just a lie.

You ain’t never caught a mousie

And you ain’t no friend of mine.

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

From the Mommie: Trouble wasn't kidding - they have been spitting at each other all day. Next week, Trouble and

Sassy will be blogging about the results of their counseling

sessions. It is going to be in a "Can This Marriage Be Saved?"

format. On Monday, Sassy will tell her story, on Tuesday,

Trouble will talk and on Wednesday, the counselor will

sum everything up. Stay Tuned!

Trouble's Thursday Tales

2012-02-08T15:22:00.000-08:00

Just Strollerin' And Saving The World

Kitties, my adventure today is from last fall. My Mommie used to take me on stroller rides last year. She says that the weather conditions are not right to go this year yet. I say her Lazy Conditions are why we have not gone yet this year. (Mommie: Now Trouble, why would you say…oh, yeah – actually she kind of got that one right)

Mommie used to try to take me out at different times of the day. She had to do that because when word got out that I was strollerin’, the drivers would stop their cars to watch me, crowds would line the sidewalks, all screaming at me to please just give them one of my sweet meows. (Mommie: We went for walks at different times because of my work schedule in reality)

Once while out strollerin’, a big black limo pulled up next to us. Now at first, remembering my undercover work against the Dog Mafia I had done for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) I was worried. But it turned out to just be Jerry Jones wanting to know if he could rename the Dallas Cowboys to the Dallas Calicos in my honor. (Mommie: Well, considering the season they had last year, this might not have been a bad idea)

Perhaps the most exciting thing we had happen while out strollerin’ was the day we were surrounded by a wild pack of vicious attack dogs. Their leader was a huge, wild eyed Rottweiler. He was wearing a spike collar and a leather coat. The name on his collar was “Pain”. Knowing that these ferocious, brutal bullies could hurt my Mommie, I immediately sprang into action. I gave one of my patented “Pay Attention” hisses. All of the dogs immediately yelped, tucked in their tails and ran off. I especially scared their leader, Pain. He actually went home, saw the error of his ways, moved to Tibet and joined a monastery. I still hear from him occasionally. His name is now Serenity and you know for a dog with a really deep bark, he is actually pretty good at chanting. (Mommie: Trouble, a dog that chants? No, just no.)

Wordless Wednesday: Me and My Mousie

2012-02-07T17:14:00.000-08:00

Fur Plugs For Cats?

2012-02-06T17:55:00.000-08:00

Oh, Noes!! Mommie took a very unflattering picture of me. Does this picture make me look like I need fur plugs? Does anyone have the number for the Fur Club For Cats?

Nope - I Don't Know Nothing About It

2012-02-05T19:01:00.000-08:00

What's that? You want to know how did those crumbs get on the floor? There's a cracker missing from your plate? Excuse me, I think I need to speaker to my lawyer now.

Friday's Song With Callie - Foxy Kitty

2012-02-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

As all of you kitties know, Valentine Day is coming up. I have the perfect song for Spitty, Brian, Eric, Flynn, Rumbles, Teddy, Kozmo and all of you handsome mancats to memorize and woo your ladycats with on the big day. This song was originally sung by Jimi Hendrix (who apparently really liked catnip himself), called Foxy Lady. By changing only a few words, I have created a song that will leave the ladycats swooning.

Foxy, Foxy

You know you’re a cute little heartbreaker

You know you’re a sweet little biscuitmaker

Foxy, Foxy

I wanna take you home

I won’t do you no harm, no

You’ve got to be all mine, all mine

Ooh, foxy kitty

Foxy, Foxy kitty

You look so good

You make me feel like

Feel like sayin’ foxy

Foxy kitty

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

Trouble's Thursday Tall Tale's

2012-02-02T06:52:00.000-08:00

My Whirlwind European Tour

Kitties, I am sorry that I am a little late posting this. I just returned from a quick tour of Europe and was completely jet lagged last night. (Mommie: Trouble is an indoor cat, she has never left the city of Dallas).

My first stop in Europe was the beautiful Lake Como in Italy. I had to go there to talk to George Clooney. He has been calling me non-stop about a new movie – “Ocean Fourteen and A Cat” that he is desperate to do with me. I have told and told George that my schedule is just to full right now to shoot a movie. Lake Como was gorgeous as ever, but I must say, between George’s crying and begging, it just wasn’t as relaxing as I hoped. (Mommie: George Clooney has never called Trouble.)

Next I flew my private jet over to Germany to visit with Heidi Klum. We became good friends when we were filming “Project Runway” together and she is going through a really tough divorce right now. We did a 2 day pub crawl through Munich and about a squillion “Seal Who?” beer shots. (Mommie: Trouble, the closest you have come to meeting Heidi is sitting on my lap while I watched Project Runway re-runs.)

After my Germany visit, I needed to rest up a little, so I decided to take a few days off in Wales. All of the local hotels were full, so I was invited to stay in a lovely old farmhouse with a local newly married couple. They invited me to call them Willie and Catie. (Mommie: Trouble, I am pretty sure that anyone with a title of Prince, does not go by the name “Willie”.)

My last stop was in Paris. Several big name designers are preparing for their Spring shows, and of course I was asked by a consortium of them to come over and consult. I will give all of my friends in the blogging world a fashion heads up. Of course, calico prints are again hot, hot, hot this year. And Sassy, you will be happy to know that stripes are making a small comeback. (Mommie: Your calico prints prediction wouldn’t have anything to do with you being a Calico cat would it?)

Almost Wordless Wednesday: How The Smackdown Started

2012-01-31T17:28:00.000-08:00

...And then Sassy turned her head and saw that Trouble was in "her" bed.

The Face of Innocence

2012-01-30T16:37:00.000-08:00

Do I know how to look innocent when necessary or what?

(Note from the Mommie: Just minutes before this picture was taken, Trouble had just made a mad dash across the room, whapped Sassy in her hammick, then jumped up on the table, knocking over the photos)

An Award and Water Fountain Review

2012-01-29T17:12:00.000-08:00

From Sassy:

Kitties, I am so excited. I got the Lief Award from the Sweet Lady Cat Brandi. She understands the trials and tribulations of life with Callie! I am supposed to pass this award along to three other kitties, but to tell the truth, every blog that I checked with had already won it. So, even though I know it is a little of a cop out, I am going to just offer this award to all the kitties who have not won this – everyone is deserving of an award.

The Drinkwell 360 Water Fountain Review

From the Mommie:

Last week I reached out the community and asked for recommendations on a water fountain for Sassy, who was dehydrated at her last vet visit. I was lucky enough to get several excellent suggestions, so I wanted to pass along my recommendation on the fountain, the Drinkwell 360 (the stainless steel version), that I bought. Unfortunately, the review is kind of mixed, not a strong buy, but not a hated it either. I bought the fountain at Amazon for just under $70. So far, Sassy is drinking from the bowl part, but does not seem thrilled about the fountain part. So basically she is using the expensive $70 fountain as a $7 water bowl! Oh, well, at least she is drinking….

The Positive Points About This Fountain

1. It runs very quietly. No loud splashing. I do not hear it running at night, and I have it set up at the foot of my bed.

2. It is easy to dismantle and clean.

3. Holds plenty of water.

The Negative Points About This Fountain

1. If you are looking for a small discreet fountain, this is not for you. This thing is BIG, about the size of a hubcap.

2. It was very hard to figure out how to put it together from the box. There was a part that was attached wrong at the factory and shipped to me this way. The instructions were useless in figuring out what was wrong. It took about two hours and the use of many bad words to figure out how to get it running.

3. The cost.

I hope this information will help other kitties make a choice. I would like to thank everyone who took the time to assist me, especially the information on cleaning that Nellie's Dad passed along to me.

Friday Songs With Callie - Three Blind Mice

2012-01-26T18:43:00.000-08:00

Today's song is an old nursery song, Three Blind Mice. It makes my mouth water every time I sing it. Does any one know where I can buy blind mice a la carte?

Three blind mice,

Three blind mice

Just caught ‘em today,

They make good prey!

Three blind mice,
Three blind mice
I like them fresh fried,
With a fish sauce alongside!

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!!

Trouble’s Thursday Texas Tales

2012-01-25T14:32:00.000-08:00

The Birds, The Bees and Agent $trumpet

Kitties, today I want to tell you about the very brave and tragic heroine, Agent $trumpet. As some of you may not know, in my spare time I work uncover for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Intelligence). Agent $trumpet was my contact while I was working on a case involving kickbacks, Animal Control and the head of the local Dog mafia. Last month I was sitting in the window, decoding secret communications and waiting for Agent $trumpet to make contact. (Mommie: actually, she was on her heated blankie, sound asleep)

Suddenly, Agent $trumpet entered our yard. Apparently, she had been on assignment out of town and had not been aware that we have been having an unseasonably warm winter. She just kept saying over and over “I’m Hot, I’m Hot” (Mommie: There was a stray cat in heat outside)

Before I could get her to stop talking about the weather and give me the scoop on our local Doggie Kingpin, another cat entered the yard. I could immediately tell he had evil intentions by the black dense aura surrounding him. (Mommie: A stray male cat with black fur entered the yard)

Now, kitties, this is where the story turns tragic. From my angle at the window I could not see the encounter, but judging from the horrible sounds that followed, I can only guess that Agent $trumpet was tortured before being captured by the enemy. (Mommie: Cat in heat meets intact male – a good time was had by all)

I have only seen Agent $trumpet once since her tragic capture. I think that her captivity has affected her health. She seemed to be really retaining water…. (Mommie: Since she has been fixed, I was really hoping to avoid having to talk to Trouble about the Birds and the Bees, but I can see that this talk is long overdue – excuse us for a few minutes…)

***FIFTEEN MINTUES LATER***

Oh, kitties, you would not believe what my Mommie just told me. She said I could not talk about it because what we were discussing should between kitties and their pawrents only. But let me just say this, you know the Alien movies starring Signourney Weaver? Remember the plot consisted of an alien who runs around, going in places he really should not have, then a while later the female main character has small little aliens popping out of her in odd places….excuse me, I think I am going to go write a thank you letter to the VET who performed my lady gardenectomy.

Almost Wordless Wednesday: Creature From Under The Bed

2012-01-24T16:23:00.000-08:00

See this fierce Creature From Under The Bed? I am so fearsome that I frightened the tail off of my blue doggie! Although Mommie says that I would seem a lot more fierce if I wouldn't purr loud enough to be heard in the next room when we play this game.

A Most Difficult Day

2012-01-23T17:48:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me recovering from my most difficult day. The Mommie had her bedroom floor replaced today. And you know that meant STRANGERS in house. I don't know how many times I have had to tell Mommie NO STRANGERS. Callie, being the mentally deranged kitty that she is, of course loved the workers. She was all "oh, pet me, pet me", whatever.

P.S - Thank you for all of the water fountain suggestions. Based upon everyone's advice, Mommie ordered the Drinkwell 360 Stainless Steel fountain. After it arrives and I have sampled it, I will let y'all how it is.

Requesting Advice From The Cat Community

2012-01-22T07:02:00.000-08:00

This is the Mommie here. I need to ask everyone's advice. Sassy had a blood test during her annual exam. It is showing that she is slightly dehydrated. Doctor does not think that it is anything serious yet, but she is advising I try to get her to drink more. One of the things she recommends is a water fountain, since Sassy likes to drink out of the sink faucet instead of a bowl. But which kind and brand?

Any advice you have to offer about things I can do to increase Sassy's interest in water would be welcome. If you have tried any fountains that were really successful (or not!), I would appreciate knowing what kind. I know the vet said that this is nothing to worry too much about yet, but of course, since she is my baby, I am worrying...

Friday Songs Not With Callie, but Sassy!

2012-01-19T17:29:00.000-08:00

Kitties,

Since Trouble has recently been very bad and started a FALSE rumor that I was in jail, I am hijacking her Friday Song and posting a song all about her. You will probaby recognize it - its the theme song from the show "Cops" called Bad Boys sung by both Bob Marley and Inner Circle. My version of it is called "Bad Kitty". Are you listening Trouble???

MEOW! Bad kitty watcha gon,

watcha gon, watcha gonna do?

When Sheriff Sassy Cat come for you?

Tell me! Whatcha gonna do

when they come for you?

Why do you have to act so mean?

Don’t you know I’m twice as big as you?

Even your mother calls you Trouble,

You're too bad, You're too rude,

Bad kitty, bad kitty

whatcha gonna do?

when they come for you?

HA!! Revenge is MINE!!

Trouble's Thursday Texas Tales

2012-01-18T16:34:00.000-08:00

How I Stared Death In Her Pinwheeling Eyes

Kitties, I have had a very stressful day. It started out very innocently. I was walking down the hall trying to plan my busy schedule. Let’s see, I have the Economic Summit Teleconference, a meeting with the Rolling Stones Magazine Editor regarding my feature, my appearance on the Oprah Show, etc, etc. (Mommie: I can see that I will have to edit this story of Trouble’s. The only thing on her calendar was eating, sleeping and litterboxing)

As I walked into the living room where Sassy was, I realized that I had interrupted a drug deal going down. There were thugs wearing their gangsta clothing and $1000 high top sneakers peddling the drugs. (Mommie: I was putting out some fresh Silvervine for Sassy. I was dressed in my yoga pants and $10 Walmart slip on sneakers)

Cautiously I approached hoping to offer intervention help. Abruptly, Sassy turned toward me and let out a snarl so loud it shattered the patio door. We made eye contact. I realized I was staring death in her unfocused, pinwheeling eyes. (Mommie: there was Silvervine out, Sassy did not even notice Trouble was in the room at first. The part about the pinwheeling eyes, however, might be a little true…)

Suddenly, Sassy pulled a fully loaded Uzi machine gun out of her tangled, never as shiny as mine, fur and pointed right at me! My short life was about to end! I realized that I had to back down to end this dangerous gun filled situation. Bravely I backed slowly away for the crazed drug addled cat that used to be my sisfur. (Mommie: Trouble got a little too close to Sassy’s stash of Silvervine and Sassy softly hissed a warning. Trouble ran yelling like a girl down the hallway and hid under the bed)

Later I received a call from the United Nations thanking me for bravely walking away instead of staying to fight. And the police came to arrest Sassy. She was led away in little cat sized leg irons. Visiting hours are 1 – 4 pm. (Mommie: Trouble, no, just no….)

Wordless Wednesday: Me and My New Hammick

2012-01-17T16:14:00.000-08:00

(P.S. The flashy box woke me up when Mommie took this picture. I was not happy about it!)

What's a Strait Jacket?

2012-01-16T16:24:00.000-08:00

Mommie says that with the way I have been acting today, I need a strait jacket. Since, contrary to rumor, she doesn't have one of those, she wrapped me in a napkin instead.

Birdies, Here Birdies

2012-01-15T17:56:00.000-08:00

Birdies, Here Birdies....Come here, I just want to "talk" to you...

Friday Songs With Callie

2012-01-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

It's finally Friday! After our ordeal at the V-E-T yesterday, I wanted to do a cheerful song to try to put the trauma behind us, so today's song is "Cats Just Wanna Have Fun." It is based upon the Cyndi Lauper song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". Everyone ready to sing?

I knocked over the bedside light

My Mommie says when you gonna behave right

Oh Mommie dear we were just playing THoE

And cats they want to have fun

Oh cats just want to have fun

Sassy meows loudly in the middle of the night

My Mommie yells Trouble did you bitey?

Oh Mommie dear you know now I must run

But cats they want to have fun

Oh cats just want to have F-U-N

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

My Visit to the V-E-T

2012-01-11T17:40:00.000-08:00

Oh, kittehs, I had a very stressful day today. I had to go to the V-E-T. I was carried out to the car in the freezing cold and a blinding rain. (Mommie here: I am afraid that Trouble has a bad habit of embellishing a story. Please allow me to correct this story as we go. It was actually a warm, sunny 67 degrees)

We were carried in to a waiting room that was filled with many big, mean dogs who were snarling, fighting and biting. (Mommie: there one small, quiet well behaved dog in the waiting room)

Sassy and I were called back into a room that was filled with wild animals (Mommie: I don't know where this is coming from, the room was empty. There was a book in the room that had a few pictures of tigers....)

Suddenly, the V-E-T Tech entered the room. He had green horns, big long fangs and glowing red eyes. He snatched up Sassy and flung her into a dark and dank room. (Mommie: he was a normal looking person with no horns, no fangs and regular colored eyes. He gently carried Sassy into the brightly lit lab)

While the madman had Sassy in the dark dank room he stole a gallon and half of her blood. After several hours, an exhausted and anemic Sassy was released from prison. (Mommie: the vet tech quickly returned Sassy to us after taking a very small amount of her blood)

Then the V-E-T came in person to supervise the torture. She dumped me on the exam table and stabbed me with a needle about two hundred times. (Mommie: Trouble only had to have two shots, which were gently administered)

Finally, we were released from the prisoner encampment. After twelve near wrecks and driving mostly on the sidewalk, we arrived home. (Mommie: We arrived home safe, with very little driving on the sidewalk)

Twisted V-E-T-S

2012-01-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

I just got some scary news! Mommie told me that Callie and I have an appointment at the V-E-T tomorrow afternoon for our annual exam.

And since I am a "senior" cat, I would like to share some V-E-T advice to all of you little kittehs. When you go for the first time, keep your eyes on the thermometer at all times. Apparently, they teach V-E-T-S some really sick things in school. You would not believe WHERE they want to put that thermometer! Let me give you a hint - it's not going in your mouth.....

Sharing is Over Rated

2012-01-09T12:44:00.000-08:00

MINE, mine, mine. Paws off Sassy!

Friday Song by Callie (a.k.a MC Little Trouble)

2012-01-05T16:47:00.000-08:00

Today's song is a rap song. Now normally, I do not sing rap - it is just not my thang, you know. But I do like a few old school rap songs, plus my practicing really got on Sassy's nerves, which is always a bonus! The song for today was originally by MC Hammer called "U Can't Touch This". And now without further ado:

Yo, Yo, Yo, Kitties in the house, give me a beat.....

You can’t touch this

My, my, my catnip hits me so hard

Makes me say “Oh my Cat”

Thank you for blessing me

With a nose to smell and four ounces of ‘nip

Good thing the stuff hasn’t been banned

I’m a super dope homecat from Garland

Kitties in the house

Give me a beat for my ‘nip rap

I told you homekitty (You can’t touch this)

Yeah, that’s how we living and you know (You can’t touch this)

Look at my eyes, Sassy (You can’t touch this)

Yo, paws off, that’s my stash (You can’t touch this)

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long, and Sing Often!

Pesky Little Sisfurs

2012-01-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

OMC, Kitties, I am going crazy. Tomorrow Callie is doing a Rap song for her Friday Song. Since this is not a category she sings in often, she has been practicing a lot today.

If I have to hear "Yo, Yo, Yo, Kitties in the house - Give Me a Beat" ONE more time.......

Wordless Wednesday: Practicing my Regal look

2012-01-03T17:06:00.000-08:00

Should I ?

2012-01-02T18:08:00.000-08:00

That Sassy is dangling her furry tail right down in face just begging me to take a bitey. But if I do, she will give me a swat for sure.....hmmm, what should I do - have fun or stay out of trouble?

P.S. Final decision - lightning fast bitey on Sassy's tail, then mad dash under the bed.

Don't 'Nip and Drive

2012-01-01T18:54:00.000-08:00

Kitties:

What a great New Years Eve Callie and I had. We attended several parties. Lets see - we had Niptinis and Shrimp, Niptinis and Toona, Niptinis and Niptinis....it is kind of blurry now but a good time was had by all.

But don't worry, we are responsible kitties. We did not 'Nip and Drive. Before leaving the house we went through Mommie's purse and got her credit card for the taxi home. And whoa, good thing we did. Do you have any idea how much they charge for taxi fare from LA to Dallas???

I think I will try to sleep it off now.

Thank You Spitty

2011-12-31T16:33:00.000-08:00

The Mommie here:

Before I started my blog a couple of months ago, I spend almost a year lurking on other blogs, wishing that I could do something that entertaining. One of my favorite sites to visit during this "lurking" time was spittyspeaks.blogspot.com. I was thrilled to find out today that Spitty had awarded me the Liebster Blog award. Yes, I have received this award before, but as a new blogger, I love the awards, especially from someone whose blog I have admired.

Alot of blogs have already received this award. I do not believe the five blogs I am nominating have, but if so, please forgive the repeat.

1. rumble-bum.blogspot.com The adventures of Diego and Rumbles. Technically speaking, they have way more than the 200 or less followers, but I love their blog, so I am being a rebel and bending the rules! (Plus Callie has just a little bit of a crush on Diego, but don't tell her I told on her)

2. keas-fur-family.blogspot.com Fuzzy Tales. We are hoping that they will continue visiting as time allows.

3. corycattalks.blogspot.com They were kind enough to give me alot of encouragement when I started.

4. fortypaws.blogspot.com Fellow Dallas residents - we Texans have to stick together!

5. maxthequiltcat.blogspot.com They throw a great New Years Eve party!

Friday Songs by Callie

2011-12-30T08:54:00.000-08:00

Today's song (which may get me killed yet!) is a redo of the Human's New Year Song "Auld Lang Syne". My version of it is called "Old Senior Sassy". For those of you who may not have seen Sassy's early post, she received a post card from the V-E-T this week about her "senior" exam. Being the sweet and loving sisfur I am, I might have mentioned this to her a FEW times....

Could Old Senior Sassy remember squat,

And now needs reading glasses.

For this song she will surely swat,

Hide from Old Senior Sassy.

Old Senior Sassy, she's an antique,

From Old Senior Sassy

We’ll hear the bones a creaking,

It's Old Senior Sassy.

(Oops, need to close the song now, Sassy is walking this way and she is not wearing her happy face!)

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

I Am Exhausted!

2011-12-29T15:58:00.000-08:00

Let's see so far today I have: rassled with Sassy, had fun kicking out lots of litter onto the floor, composed a snarky song about Senior Sassy, rassled some more with Sassy, knocked Mom's stuff off of the table onto the floor, spilled food out of my bowl, hid from Sassy after she found out about the song....whew.....

I am tired!

Wordless Wednesday: Die Evil Pink Thingie, Die!

2011-12-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

I Would Like To Clear Something Up

2011-12-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

I got something shocking in the mail today. It was a reminder from the V-E-T about my annual examination. Now, I knew this was coming up, that was not the shocker. The card from the V-E-T said that starting this year, due to my "age" I would need a "senior"cat exam! I am only seven years old! That does not make me a senior cat, that makes me an "experienced" cat.

Trouble has been having a field day with this. She is even planning a special "Senior Sassy" song for Friday. Sheesh, little sisters. Mommie, are you sure I can't put the bitey on her?

A Yucky New Experience

2011-12-26T07:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I tried something new. I had my first ever hairball problem! And readers let me tell you, a hairball is not nearly as fun as a 'nip ball.

And then to add insult to injury, my Mommie made me take some kind of horrible hairball medicine. It is advertised as being "salmon" flavored. This is a case of clear cut false advertisement. Trust me, a salmon has been no where near that %^& crap. Oh man, I can still taste that stuff in my dreams!

Friday Songs With Callie (a.k.a. Trouble)

2011-12-23T05:12:00.000-08:00

Today's song is of course a Christmas Song. It used to be about a stinky old reindeer named Rudolf, but I improved upon it by making it about a kittycat, ME!

Trouble, the pink-nosed kittycat

Had a very pretty nose.

And if you every saw her,

You would just goes “ohs!"

Her mean sisfur that Sassy

Used to laugh and call her names

She never let poor Trouble

Play any kittycat games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

Sassy came to say:

“Trouble, with your freeze dried noms,

Won’t you share your treats tonight?”

When Trouble stopped laughing

She shouted out with glee,

Sassy, you mean sisfur kittycat,

You’ll never get any treats!

Remember Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

Merry Christmas Y'All

Oh, Wow, I Got Awarded!

2011-12-22T14:20:00.000-08:00

A very big thank you to brandi at sweetladycat.blogspot.com for awarding me the Liebster Award.

As a very new blogger, it is so easy to wonder if I am doing this right or if maybe I should be doing it this way or maybe that way.... getting an award like this makes it worthwhile!

I know that the next step is to award this to five other bloggers. Only problem is that since I am so new to the blogging world, I don't know many blogs, the few that I follow have already received this award. So, Mommie does not know this yet, but over the holidays she is going to help us go to Catblogosphere.com and other places to find some worthy sites. We will blog about our selections after we have cracked the whip over Mommie.

Again, many thanks to brandi!

Everybody Got Their Shopping Done?

2011-12-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-20T16:27:00.000-08:00

Just let me lay here five more minutes, okay?

My Nightmare by Sassy

2011-12-19T17:33:00.000-08:00

I have a very disturbing picture to show everyone. This is what I woke up to yesterday.

As you can plainly see Callie is letting her stinky furs touch my foot.

Ewww - can I get a lawyer?

Does anyone have some Paw Santizer I can borrow?

Sneaking Up On My Sisfur

2011-12-18T16:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when Sassy is asleep, I like to sneak up and snuggle close to her. If she was fully awake and knew that I was sitting this close to her, she would be whopping me on the head!

First "Got Ya" Day

2011-12-16T14:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends of the Cat Blogging World:

I need some suggestions. Tomorrow (Saturday, Dec. 17th) is my very first "Got Ya Day". One year ago tomorrow, Mommie walked into the SPCA looking for a boy kitty (since she already had a girl kitty). I took one look at her and thought to myself, "Sucker!”, ummm, I mean I thought “Mommie”, yeah that’s it…. It was pretty most all over from my first meow, Mommie barely looked at the other kitties and I was on my way to conquer a new world.

I was thinking about what I wanted to do on my first anniversary. At first I thought, “I’ll have a House Trashing” party with all of my bloggie friends. But then I remembered, I pretty much trash the house every week by myself, that is not special. Then I thought a “Nip Party”, except I am trying to cut back on my Nip inhalation – something about causing a worldwide shortage.

How can I celebrate this special day?

Friday Song With Callie

2011-12-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

This week's song is by some old band called The Beatles. They were famous a long, long time ago. They must have been almost as good of songwriters as I am 'cause I did not have to improve upon their song much. The song I am singing today used to be called "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" but is now called "I Wanna Hold Your Paw".

Oh, yeah, let me meow something

I think you’ll understand

When I meow that something

I wanna hold your paw

I wanna hold you paw

Oh, please say to me

You’ll let me be your cat

And please, say to me

You’ll let me hold your paw

Now let me hold your paw

I wanna hold your paw

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

We Gots Our Secret Paws Package

2011-12-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

Our mean Mommie says we can not open it until Christmas!

Wordless Wednesday: I Lubbs My Heated Cat Bed

2011-12-13T16:36:00.000-08:00

Tummy Tuesday

2011-12-13T07:45:00.000-08:00

100 % Real Floofiness

Choices, Choices,Choices

2011-12-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

What to do, what to do....I could take a couple of bites out of my bowl, then a few from Sassy's bowl (stolen food always tastes good!), then a sip of water....or water first, then Sassy's food, then rip the wadded up piece of paper I stole from the trashcan into a gazillion pieces all over the bedroom (why does Mommie hate it when I do that, its fun!!)....

So many different ways to get into trouble, so little time....

Friday Song with Callie

2011-12-09T09:22:00.000-08:00

Around here it is always "No Trouble, Be Good Trouble, blah, blah, blah...." I would like to dedicate this song to my Mommie. It used to be called "Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares" by Travis Tritt. The new and improved song is "Here's a Quarter, Call Some Cat Who Cares" by ME!

You say “No Trouble, stop scratching the couch”,

“No Trouble, stop climbing the cabinets”

And you say you’d be happy if I could behave for few minutes

Well, here’s a quarter, call some cat who cares

Call Sassy, who’ll listen and might give a darn ‘cause she’s a goody two shoes

Don’t you come ‘round here handin’ me none of your rules

Here’s a quarter call some cat who cares

Well, I love you dearly Mommie, but a cat gotta play, I have fun,

But the fact is your rules are boring and I don’t want to be a good kitty,

So call Sassy, who’ll listen and might give a darn, ‘cause she’s a goody two shoes

Here’s a quarter call some cat who cares.

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often

Santa Came Early

2011-12-08T15:41:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! Sassy reporting in today.

Santa came to our house and brought us a present early. It is a new scratcher! I love using it.

Some other cat here, namely Trouble, is not as good as I am and still uses the couch arms as a scratching post. She said she will explain about why she does that tomorrow in her Friday Song with Callie.

Wordless Wednesday: Hiding In Plain Sight

2011-12-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

Can you find me?

After the 'Nip

2011-12-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

My Mommie gave me a little 'nip today. I LOVED it. I ran around, played THoE, jumped on the cabinets and attacked my sisfur. Then the 'nip wore off........

Does anybody know of a good 'nip hangover cure?

Merry Freaking Christmas

2011-12-04T16:38:00.000-08:00

Now somebody get me out of this @#$% suit!

Easy Like Sunday

2011-12-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

Mommie.....I could use another pillow

....and maybe a few treats.

Friday Songs by Callie

2011-12-01T18:09:00.000-08:00

Today's song is the `80's classic (improved upon by me of course!) "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow. Here is a linky for the original song for those of you who are not old enough to remember the 80s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMICD3aMZpw&noredirect=1

However, since I am a cat, I could care less about candy - so the song is now "I WANT CATNIP".

Sing along with me:

I want catnip

Its my favorite thing around

Ain’t no finer treat in town

You’re my love you’re what the VET ordered

If I don’t some I’m calling my lawyer

I want catnip

Catnip on the floor, there’s nothing better

But I like catnip when it’s wrapped in a banana

Some day soon I’ll grow a plant

And I’ll have catnip all the time

I want catnip
I want catnip

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

My Fancy Real Fake Diamond Collar

2011-12-01T12:15:00.000-08:00

Some of you commented on my fancy collar from yesterday's post. Besides the fancy diamond (okay, really fake glass beads, but still...) buckle, it also spells out my name. I had Mommie remove it from my neck and spread it out so that everyone can see. When Mommie got it, I was just a baby and she did not know that my nickname was going to be TROUBLE!

Wordless Wednesday: Queen of All I Survey

2011-11-30T17:01:00.000-08:00

Water Fountains

2011-11-29T17:53:00.000-08:00

Some people may call this a bathroom faucet.

I call it my own personal water fountain!

Free and Wild Like a Leopard

2011-11-28T17:38:00.000-08:00

In my dreams, I am running free and wild like a leopard.....

Ummm, that is a leopard that has a heated blankie, daily brushings, never empty food bowl, box full of toys and a ~~slave~~ Mommie to supply everything.

Am I Spoiled or What??

2011-11-27T16:26:00.000-08:00

My Mommie really knows how to take care of me!

P.S. You probably can't tell from this picture, but I am laying on a heated blanket, with a folded blanket as a pillow and a quilt pulled up as cover.

Friday's Song by Callie

2011-11-24T20:24:00.000-08:00

Today’s song is a shout out for all of you kitties that have woofies in your family. Man, I feel your pain. The song was originally by the Beatles called “You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello”. Before I improved upon it of course! It is now called “You say Bark-Bark, I Say Meow”.

You say yip, I say meow

You say play and I say go away, away, away

Oh hiss

You say bark-bark and I say meow, meow, meow

I don’t know why you say bark-bark

I say meow, meow, meow

I don’t know why you say bark-bark

I say meow, meow, meow

Why, why, why, why, why

Do you say bark-bark, bark

I say meow, meow, meow

MEOW M E O W

MMMEEEEOOOOWWW!

And remember to Sing this LOUD, Sing it LONG, and Sing it OFTEN!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2011-11-24T08:21:00.000-08:00

Wordless Wednesday: Basket Case

2011-11-22T16:12:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is Wash Day

2011-11-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

OOOOhhh, wwwoooww -

This mmmmachine is sssssoooo much ffffffun when it is rrrrrunning!

Wwwweeeeeee!!!

MONDAY'S MEWSINGS BY SASSY

2011-11-20T15:41:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone!

Today's mewsing is on a very important subject: FOOD.

Today I confirmed something I have always supected. With the help of the level tool pictured above, I have discovered that Trouble has 3 more pieces of kibble in her bowl than I do.

I think a complaint to management is in order.

Friday Cat Lyrics

2011-11-18T07:14:00.000-08:00

Hi All!

I am going to share a secret with everyone today. My Mommie loves it when I sing to her. Oh, sure she acts all mad, especially when I sing to her at 3am, but I know the truth, she loves it. I have decided that one reason she does not like my 3am concerts is because the Hoomans have taken all of the good ones. So each week I am going to give everyone a Cat song adopted from a famous human one.

This weeks song is called "I Can't Get No Catisfaction", formerly sung by the Rolling Stones. The lyrics are as follows:

I can't get no catisfaction

Even tho’ I nip and I nip and I nip

I keep getting no, I keep getting no

When I'm ridin' in my stroller

And that Mommie starts yellin’

She's tellin' me no-no and no-no

About some past fun misdeed

Supposed to better my behavior

I keep getting no, oh no, no, no

Hey hey hey, that's what I say

I can't get no, I can't get no

I can't get no catisfaction

No catisfaction, no catisfaction, no catisfaction

Remember - Sing Loud, Sing Late and Sing Often!

My Relaxing Morning

2011-11-17T07:04:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Everyone - Sassy here.

As you can see from this picture, this morning I got to have a nice relaxing nap. Trouble is locked up in the bedroom and I can just lay here and enjoy the peace and quiet.

How was I able to do this? Today is Mommie's day to clean the floors. She discovered shortly after bringing Trouble home that she loves to lick the wet floors. Since Trouble is not quite smart enough to know that licking the floors is NOT normal behavior, Mommie had to start locking her up on floor cleaning day and only being able to use non-toxic green cleaner.

Although, now that I think about it, maybe licking chemicals off of floors explains her personality!

Wordless Wednesday - The Importance of Finding The Right Napping Position

2011-11-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

My Name is Sassy

2011-11-15T06:12:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Sassy. I am the other (better) half of this blog. I am a 7 year old medium long hair kitty.

For the first wonderful six years of my life, I was an only cat. Then 332 days (and 6 hours, not that I am counting) Mommie went to the local Animal Shelter. AND SHE DID NOT COME BACK ALONE! My space was invaded by Trouble. Mommie muttered some silly thing about how another cat would help me come out of my shell - whatever....

When Trouble first arrived, I tried giving her a couple of smack downs to make her go away, but the silly cat thought I was playing with her. The following picture is one I had Mommie take as proof that Trouble illegally invaded my space and TOUCHED me.

Mommie says I have got to get better at sharing my things - I say I need to get better at plotting the mysterious disappearance of Trouble!

My Name is Callie (also known as Trouble)

2011-11-14T16:35:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone - welcome to my new blog!

My name is offically CalicoRose - Callie for short when I am good. My Momma calls me Trouble when I am being bad - so mostly I am called Trouble. I am the most beautiful dilute calico in this picture. The other cat is my older sisfur Sassy. My mommie is always saying "Trouble, why can't you be good like Sassy?" Because good is BORING.

In this next picture, you can see my beautiful Bling-Bling collar. Mommie makes me wear it with the bells on it so that she will know where Trouble is at, but that is okay with me because I love my Bling-Bling collar.

I am going to let my sisfur, Sassy, introduce herself in tomorrow's post, but be prepared, since she doesn't like to scratch things, knock things over, run thru the house at top speed, etc., she not interestin'.