Monday, November 5, 2012

The Cats Interview the Candidates

Kitties – This is the Mommie here.  Along this election year, I have avoided saying anything about the candidates because this is a CAT blog not a political blog.  But the other day as I was watching one of the debates, I got to thinking….I wonder what this debate would be like if cats were the moderators…..and from that an idea was born.

Please understand, this is meant to be humorous and non-partisan.  I am not encouraging anyone to vote for a certain candidate.  In fact if the truth was told, I am not very fond of either candidate.  Please only leave non-partisan comments. 

THE CATNIP DEBATE – MODERATED BY CALLIE AND SASSY
 
Callie:  Kitties, we are here with President Obama and Mr. Romney to debate a subject near and dear to all of our hearts – cat nip.  I will be asking Mr. Romney the questions and Sassy will ask the questions to President Obama.  Each answer will have a time limit.  President Obama won the coin toss for first question. 
Sassy:  President Obama, what do you plan to do about ensuring that every cat has a cat nip plant of their own?
President Obama:  Well, first off, let me apologize for being late.  I was stuck in a traffic jam that was caused by ex-President Bush.  It is his fault.  I was thinking about this problem as I was on the plane back from single handedly capturing bin Laden.  Did you know that I caught bin Laden?
Sassy:  Please stay on subject President Obama
President Obama:  Okay, so as everyone knows, after President Bush’s time in office, there was only 3 cat nip plants left in the world, because Bush went around and personally peed on every plant, because Bush hates cats – especially black cats.  So I inherited a real cat nip problem. 
---TIME---
Callie:  Mr. Romney, what do you plan to do to ensure each cat their own cat nip plant?
Mr. Romney:  I am glad you asked that Callie.  I have a very good and solid plan for this problem.  It is a plan with many details.
Callie:  Umm, can you give us any of these details?
Mr. Romney:  Yes I can.  As you know, when I was governor of Massachusetts, some cat nip was bought by residents, so naturally I am an expert now on cat nip.  That is how I formed this plan.  That has a lot of details. 

---TIME---
Sassy:  President Obama, can you continue to talk about the cat nip issue. 
President Obama:  What?...oh, sorry,  I was just thinking about when I went overseas to kill bin Laden…you know when I did that, I used a bullet, which meant that another bullet had to be manufactured to replace it.  Our studies show that this bullet has created 16 billion extra jobs for the United States….
Sassy:  Cat nip, President Obama…..
President Obama:  Oh, yes, well, I am happy to report that with the help of two economic stimulus plans and 20 billion in research funds, that in the three years of my presidency, I have managed to increase the three cat nip plants to four!  And I am sure that if the voters will give me another 4 years, I can increase that number to five!!!
---TIME---
Callie:  Mr. Romney, we are still waiting to hear the details on your plan.
Mr. Romney:  My plan has a lot of details.  Good details created by an expert in cat nip.
Callie (hiss):  Please elaborate on these details. 
Mr. Romney:  Callie, I would be happy to.  These details are tied to a plan with a lot of details. 
---TIME---
Sassy:  I am sorry but President Obama had to leave.  He has a scene to shot on CSI, a visit with Jay Leno and a guest appearance on the Oprah show to film.  He said he could not let all of this presidential stuff interfere with his Hollywood time. 

Callie:  And I sent Mr. Romney home because if he said the words “a detailed plan” one more time I was going to have to scratch out his eyes on public TV!

13 comments:

Mr. Black said...

Heh, heh.

The Furries of Whisppy said...

LOL LOL LOL.

Cherry City Kitties said...

the Momma is sooooooooo over this whole eee-lection thingy that she wishes you two were in charge of the debates. Now, if we could just find a kitteh to "approve those messages" it might be all good!
Harry, Dexter and Tipp

Sparkle said...

The humans here are looking forward to voting tomorrow and having it done with (they walk to the polling place and often make a sort of date out of it). We are not in a swing state, so they are way more focused on the propositions, measures and local candidates than the presidential election.

I am SO glad I'm a kitty and don't have to concern myself with any of this!

The Island Cats said...

The mom says she enjoyed your debate much more than the real ones!! And we'll be happy when the whole election thingey is over!!

CATachresis said...

You guys! That was the best debate ever!! MOL MOL

Cathy Keisha said...

We didn't watch any of the debates cos our minds were made up and not even this debate could change our minds.

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

I call Foul! The interviewer was clearly biased! The other guy gotted .04005% more time than I did! Besides, sumkitteh laced my water bottle with the Nip so who knows if I even knew wut I was even tawking about! One sip makes you larger and two sips make U small and the ones that woofies gib U don't do anything at awl, go ask Sparkle, wen she wus juss small.....

Ha ha ha! This debate wuz teh Grate Debate!

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

MOL!!

michico*Adan said...

Remember to vote!

Colehaus Cats said...

MOL! LOL! This was WONDERFUL! Purrs...

The Cat From Hell said...

Gosh. Me is glad me lives in Canada.
Kisses
nellie

Nerissa said...

When we cats take over the world, catnip availability will be the number one priority. I purrsonally have formulated a plan for the Canadian division... Not too many details in it tho. Just get the seed out there and tell peeps to start growing! I mean... how hard can it be? MOUSES! purrs