Almost Wordless Wednesday: How The Smackdown Started

...And then Sassy turned her head and saw that Trouble was in "her" bed.

The Face of Innocence

Do I know how to look innocent when necessary or what?

(Note from the Mommie:  Just minutes before this picture was taken, Trouble had just made a mad dash across the room, whapped Sassy in her hammick, then jumped up on the table, knocking over the photos)

An Award and Water Fountain Review

From Sassy:

Kitties, I am so excited.  I got the Lief Award from the Sweet Lady Cat Brandi.  She understands the trials and tribulations of life with Callie!  I am supposed to pass this award along to three other kitties, but to tell the truth, every blog that I checked with had already won it.  So, even though I know it is a little of a cop out, I am going to just offer this award to all the kitties who have not won this – everyone is deserving of an award.

The Drinkwell 360 Water Fountain Review

From the Mommie:

Last week I reached out the community and asked for recommendations on a water fountain for Sassy, who was dehydrated at her last vet visit.  I was lucky enough to get several excellent suggestions, so I wanted to pass along my recommendation on the fountain, the Drinkwell 360 (the stainless steel version), that I bought.  Unfortunately, the review is kind of mixed, not a strong buy, but not a hated it either.  I bought the fountain at Amazon for just under $70.  So far, Sassy is drinking from the bowl part, but does not seem thrilled about the fountain part.  So basically she is using the expensive $70 fountain as a $7 water bowl! Oh, well, at least she is drinking….

The Positive Points About This Fountain

1.      It runs very quietly.  No loud splashing.  I do not hear it running at night, and I have it set up at the foot of my bed. 

2.      It is easy to dismantle and clean.

3.      Holds plenty of water.  

The Negative Points About This Fountain

1.      If you are looking for a small discreet fountain, this is not for you.  This thing is BIG, about the size of a hubcap. 

2.      It was very hard to figure out how to put it together from the box. There was a part that was attached wrong at the factory and shipped to me this way.   The instructions were useless in figuring out what was wrong.  It took about two hours and the use of many bad words to figure out how to get it running. 

3.      The cost. 

I hope this information will help other kitties make a choice.  I would like to thank everyone who took the time to assist me, especially the information on cleaning that Nellie's Dad passed along to me. 

Friday Songs With Callie - Three Blind Mice

Today's song is an old nursery song, Three Blind Mice.  It makes my mouth water every time I sing it.  Does any one know where I can buy blind mice a la carte?

Three blind mice,

Three blind mice

Just caught ‘em today,

They make good prey!

Three blind mice,
Three blind mice
I like them fresh fried,
With a fish sauce alongside!


Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!!

Trouble’s Thursday Texas Tales

OR

The Birds, The Bees and Agent $trumpet

Kitties, today I want to tell you about the very brave and tragic heroine, Agent $trumpet.  As some of you may not know, in my spare time I work uncover for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Intelligence).  Agent $trumpet was my contact while I was working on a case involving kickbacks, Animal Control and the head of the local Dog mafia.   Last month I was sitting in the window, decoding secret communications and waiting for Agent $trumpet to make contact. (Mommie:  actually, she was on her heated blankie, sound asleep)

Suddenly, Agent $trumpet entered our yard.  Apparently, she had been on assignment out of town and had not been aware that we have been having an unseasonably warm winter.  She just kept saying over and over “I’m Hot, I’m Hot” (Mommie:  There was a stray cat in heat outside)

Before I could get her to stop talking about the weather and give me the scoop on our local Doggie Kingpin, another cat entered the yard.  I could immediately tell he had evil intentions by the black dense aura surrounding him.  (Mommie:  A stray male cat with black fur entered the yard)

Now, kitties, this is where the story turns tragic.  From my angle at the window I could not see the encounter, but judging from the horrible sounds that followed, I can only guess that Agent $trumpet was tortured before being captured by the enemy.  (Mommie:  Cat in heat meets intact male – a good time was had by all)

I have only seen Agent $trumpet once since her tragic capture.  I think that her captivity has affected her health.  She seemed to be really retaining water…. (Mommie:  Since she has been fixed, I was really hoping to avoid having to talk to Trouble about the Birds and the Bees, but I can see that this talk is long overdue – excuse us for a few minutes…)

***FIFTEEN MINTUES LATER***

Oh, kitties, you would not believe what my Mommie just told me.  She said I could not talk about it because what we were discussing should between kitties and their pawrents only.  But let me just say this, you know the Alien movies starring Signourney Weaver?  Remember the plot consisted of an alien who runs around, going in places he really should not have, then a while later the female main character  has small little aliens popping out of her in odd places….excuse me, I think I am going to go write a thank you letter to the VET who performed my lady gardenectomy.

Almost Wordless Wednesday: Creature From Under The Bed

See this fierce Creature From Under The Bed?  I am so fearsome that I frightened the tail off of my blue doggie!  Although Mommie says that I would seem a lot more fierce if I wouldn't purr loud enough to be heard in the next room when we play this game. 

A Most Difficult Day

This is a picture of me recovering from my most difficult day.  The Mommie had her bedroom floor replaced today.  And you know that meant STRANGERS in house.  I don't know how many times I have had to tell Mommie NO STRANGERS.  Callie, being the mentally deranged kitty that she is, of course loved the workers.  She was all "oh, pet me, pet me", whatever.

P.S -  Thank you for all of the water fountain suggestions.  Based upon everyone's advice, Mommie ordered the Drinkwell 360 Stainless Steel fountain.  After it arrives and I have sampled it, I will let y'all how it is.

Requesting Advice From The Cat Community

This is the Mommie here.  I need to ask everyone's advice.  Sassy had a blood test during her annual exam.  It is showing that she is slightly dehydrated.  Doctor does not think that it is anything serious yet, but she is advising I try to get her to drink more.  One of the things she recommends is a water fountain, since Sassy likes to drink out of the sink faucet instead of a bowl.  But which kind and brand?

Any advice you have to offer about things I can do to increase Sassy's interest in water would be welcome.  If you have tried any fountains that were really successful (or not!), I would appreciate knowing what kind.  I know the vet said that this is nothing to worry too much about yet, but of course, since she is my baby,  I am worrying...

Friday Songs Not With Callie, but Sassy!

Kitties,

Since Trouble has recently been very bad and started a FALSE rumor that I was in jail, I am hijacking her Friday Song and posting a song all about her.  You will probaby recognize it - its the theme song from the show "Cops" called Bad Boys sung by both Bob Marley and Inner Circle.  My version of it is called "Bad Kitty".  Are you listening Trouble???

MEOW! Bad kitty watcha gon,

watcha gon, watcha gonna do?

When Sheriff Sassy Cat come for you?

Tell me!  Whatcha gonna do

when they come for you?

Why do you have to act so mean?

Don’t you know I’m twice as big as you?

Even your mother calls you Trouble,

You're too bad, You're too rude,

Bad kitty, bad kitty

whatcha gonna do?

when they come for you?

HA!! Revenge is MINE!!

Trouble's Thursday Texas Tales

OR

How I Stared Death In Her Pinwheeling Eyes

Kitties, I have had a very stressful day.  It started out very innocently.  I was walking down the hall trying to plan my busy schedule.  Let’s see, I have the Economic Summit Teleconference, a meeting with the Rolling Stones Magazine Editor regarding my feature, my appearance on the Oprah Show, etc, etc. (Mommie:  I can see that I will have to edit this story of Trouble’s.  The only thing on her calendar was eating, sleeping and litterboxing)

As I walked into the living room where Sassy was, I realized that I had interrupted a drug deal going down. There were thugs wearing their gangsta clothing and $1000 high top sneakers peddling the drugs. (Mommie:  I was putting out some fresh Silvervine for Sassy.  I was dressed in my yoga pants and $10 Walmart slip on sneakers)

Cautiously I approached hoping to offer intervention help.  Abruptly, Sassy turned toward me and let out a snarl so loud it shattered the patio door.  We made eye contact.  I realized I was staring death in her unfocused, pinwheeling eyes.  (Mommie:  there was Silvervine out, Sassy did not even notice Trouble was in the room at first.  The part about the pinwheeling eyes, however, might be a little true…)

Suddenly, Sassy pulled a fully loaded Uzi machine gun out of her tangled, never as shiny as mine, fur and pointed right at me!  My short life was about to end!  I realized that I had to back down to end this dangerous gun filled situation.  Bravely I backed slowly away for the crazed drug addled cat that used to be my sisfur.  (Mommie:  Trouble got a little too close to Sassy’s stash of Silvervine and Sassy softly hissed a warning.  Trouble ran yelling like a girl down the hallway and hid under the bed)

Later I received a call from the United Nations thanking me for bravely walking away instead of staying to fight.  And the police came to arrest Sassy.  She was led away in little cat sized leg irons.  Visiting hours are 1 – 4 pm.  (Mommie:  Trouble, no, just no….)

Wordless Wednesday: Me and My New Hammick

(P.S. The flashy box woke me up when Mommie took this picture.  I was not happy about it!)

What's a Strait Jacket?

Mommie says that with the way I have been acting today, I need a strait jacket.  Since, contrary to rumor, she doesn't have one of those, she wrapped me in a napkin instead.  

Birdies, Here Birdies

Birdies, Here Birdies....Come here, I just want to "talk" to you...

Friday Songs With Callie

It's finally Friday!  After our ordeal at the V-E-T yesterday, I wanted to do a cheerful song to try to put the trauma behind us, so today's song is "Cats Just Wanna Have Fun."  It is based upon the Cyndi Lauper song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".  Everyone ready to sing?

I knocked over the bedside light

My Mommie says when you gonna behave right

Oh Mommie dear we were just playing THoE

And cats they want to have fun

Oh cats just want to have fun

Sassy meows loudly in the middle of the night

My Mommie yells Trouble did you bitey?

Oh Mommie dear you know now I must run

But cats they want to have fun

Oh cats just want to have F-U-N

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

My Visit to the V-E-T

Oh, kittehs, I had a very stressful day today.  I had to go to the V-E-T.  I was carried out to the car in the freezing cold and a blinding rain.  (Mommie here:  I am afraid that Trouble has a bad habit of embellishing a story.  Please allow me to correct this story as we go.  It was actually a warm, sunny 67 degrees)

We were carried in to a waiting room that was filled with many big, mean dogs who were snarling, fighting and biting. (Mommie: there one small, quiet well behaved dog in the waiting room) 

Sassy and I were called back into a room that was filled with wild animals (Mommie:  I don't know where this is coming from, the room was empty.  There was a book in the room that had a few pictures of tigers....)

Suddenly, the V-E-T Tech entered the room.  He had green horns, big long fangs and glowing red eyes.  He snatched up Sassy and flung her into a dark and dank room. (Mommie:  he was a normal looking person with no horns, no fangs and regular colored eyes.  He gently carried Sassy into the brightly lit lab)

While the madman had Sassy in the dark dank room he stole a gallon and half of her blood.  After several hours, an exhausted and anemic Sassy was released from prison. (Mommie:  the vet tech quickly returned Sassy to us after taking a very small amount of her blood)

Then the V-E-T came in person to supervise the torture.  She dumped me on the exam table and stabbed me with a needle about two hundred times. (Mommie:  Trouble only had to have two shots, which were gently administered)

Finally, we were released from the prisoner encampment.  After twelve near wrecks and driving mostly on the sidewalk, we arrived home. (Mommie:  We arrived home safe, with very little driving on the sidewalk)

Twisted V-E-T-S

I just got some scary news!  Mommie told me that Callie and I have an appointment at the V-E-T tomorrow afternoon for our annual exam. 

And since I am a "senior" cat, I would like to share some V-E-T advice to all of you little kittehs.  When you go for the first time, keep your eyes on the thermometer at all times.  Apparently, they teach V-E-T-S some really sick things in school.  You would not believe WHERE they want to put that thermometer!  Let me give you a hint - it's not going in your mouth.....

Sharing is Over Rated

MINE, mine, mine.  Paws off Sassy!

Friday Song by Callie (a.k.a MC Little Trouble)

Today's song is a rap song.  Now normally, I do not sing rap - it is just not my thang, you know.  But I do like a few old school rap songs, plus my practicing really got on Sassy's nerves, which is always a bonus!  The song for today was originally by MC Hammer called "U Can't Touch This".  And now without further ado: 

Yo, Yo, Yo, Kitties in the house, give me a beat.....

You can’t touch this

You can’t touch this

My, my, my catnip hits me so hard

Makes me say “Oh my Cat”

Thank you for blessing me

With a nose to smell and four ounces of ‘nip

Good thing the stuff hasn’t been banned

I’m a super dope homecat from Garland

Kitties in the house

Give me a beat for my ‘nip rap

I told you homekitty (You can’t touch this)

Yeah, that’s how we living and you know (You can’t touch this)

Look at my eyes, Sassy (You can’t touch this)

Yo, paws off, that’s my stash (You can’t touch this)

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long, and Sing Often!

Pesky Little Sisfurs

OMC, Kitties, I am going crazy.  Tomorrow Callie is doing a Rap song for her Friday Song.  Since this is not a category she sings in often, she has been practicing a lot today.  

If I have to hear "Yo, Yo, Yo, Kitties in the house - Give Me a Beat"  ONE more time.......

Wordless Wednesday: Practicing my Regal look

Should I ?

That Sassy is dangling her furry tail right down in face just begging me to take a bitey.  But if I  do, she will give me a swat for sure.....hmmm,  what should I do - have fun or stay out of trouble?

P.S.  Final decision - lightning fast bitey on Sassy's tail, then mad dash under the bed.  

Don't 'Nip and Drive

Kitties:

What a great New Years Eve Callie and I had.  We attended several parties.   Lets see - we had Niptinis and Shrimp, Niptinis and Toona, Niptinis and Niptinis....it is kind of blurry now but a good time was had by all.  

But don't worry, we are responsible kitties.  We did not 'Nip and Drive.  Before leaving the house we went through Mommie's purse and got her credit card for the taxi home.  And whoa, good thing we did.  Do you have any idea how much they charge for taxi fare from LA to Dallas???

I think I will try to sleep it off now.