Trouble's Thursday Texas Tales

OR

How I Stared Death In Her Pinwheeling Eyes

Kitties, I have had a very stressful day.  It started out very innocently.  I was walking down the hall trying to plan my busy schedule.  Let’s see, I have the Economic Summit Teleconference, a meeting with the Rolling Stones Magazine Editor regarding my feature, my appearance on the Oprah Show, etc, etc. (Mommie:  I can see that I will have to edit this story of Trouble’s.  The only thing on her calendar was eating, sleeping and litterboxing)

As I walked into the living room where Sassy was, I realized that I had interrupted a drug deal going down. There were thugs wearing their gangsta clothing and $1000 high top sneakers peddling the drugs. (Mommie:  I was putting out some fresh Silvervine for Sassy.  I was dressed in my yoga pants and $10 Walmart slip on sneakers)

Cautiously I approached hoping to offer intervention help.  Abruptly, Sassy turned toward me and let out a snarl so loud it shattered the patio door.  We made eye contact.  I realized I was staring death in her unfocused, pinwheeling eyes.  (Mommie:  there was Silvervine out, Sassy did not even notice Trouble was in the room at first.  The part about the pinwheeling eyes, however, might be a little true…)

Suddenly, Sassy pulled a fully loaded Uzi machine gun out of her tangled, never as shiny as mine, fur and pointed right at me!  My short life was about to end!  I realized that I had to back down to end this dangerous gun filled situation.  Bravely I backed slowly away for the crazed drug addled cat that used to be my sisfur.  (Mommie:  Trouble got a little too close to Sassy’s stash of Silvervine and Sassy softly hissed a warning.  Trouble ran yelling like a girl down the hallway and hid under the bed)

Later I received a call from the United Nations thanking me for bravely walking away instead of staying to fight.  And the police came to arrest Sassy.  She was led away in little cat sized leg irons.  Visiting hours are 1 – 4 pm.  (Mommie:  Trouble, no, just no….)