Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Trouble's Thursday Texas Tales

OR
How I Stared Death In Her Pinwheeling Eyes



Kitties, I have had a very stressful day.  It started out very innocently.  I was walking down the hall trying to plan my busy schedule.  Let’s see, I have the Economic Summit Teleconference, a meeting with the Rolling Stones Magazine Editor regarding my feature, my appearance on the Oprah Show, etc, etc. (Mommie:  I can see that I will have to edit this story of Trouble’s.  The only thing on her calendar was eating, sleeping and litterboxing)
As I walked into the living room where Sassy was, I realized that I had interrupted a drug deal going down. There were thugs wearing their gangsta clothing and $1000 high top sneakers peddling the drugs. (Mommie:  I was putting out some fresh Silvervine for Sassy.  I was dressed in my yoga pants and $10 Walmart slip on sneakers)
Cautiously I approached hoping to offer intervention help.  Abruptly, Sassy turned toward me and let out a snarl so loud it shattered the patio door.  We made eye contact.  I realized I was staring death in her unfocused, pinwheeling eyes.  (Mommie:  there was Silvervine out, Sassy did not even notice Trouble was in the room at first.  The part about the pinwheeling eyes, however, might be a little true…)

Suddenly, Sassy pulled a fully loaded Uzi machine gun out of her tangled, never as shiny as mine, fur and pointed right at me!  My short life was about to end!  I realized that I had to back down to end this dangerous gun filled situation.  Bravely I backed slowly away for the crazed drug addled cat that used to be my sisfur.  (Mommie:  Trouble got a little too close to Sassy’s stash of Silvervine and Sassy softly hissed a warning.  Trouble ran yelling like a girl down the hallway and hid under the bed)
Later I received a call from the United Nations thanking me for bravely walking away instead of staying to fight.  And the police came to arrest Sassy.  She was led away in little cat sized leg irons.  Visiting hours are 1 – 4 pm.  (Mommie:  Trouble, no, just no….)

15 comments:

The Island Cats said...

Haha! Trouble...we can see how you got your name! ;)

Sparkle said...

Man, Trouble, your human has a really warped view of reality! She makes it all sound so boring!

Brian said...

I know I shoudn't, but I'm still giggling over that story!

Admiral Hestorb said...

I don't think my mom has ever smiled so much. She loved every clever word ! But me, I just learning. I'm new around here.

Love, Katie

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I wish there was a Cat Blogosphere Pullet-Surprise or Acatemy Awards because as soon as my Human picks herself up off the floor she would nominate you for it!

Oui Oui said...

Was there a little wishful thinking at the end of the story? Callie, you really are Trouble! (Did you catch the capital T?)

brandi said...

Trouble, Trouble. Little Callie. My, my. I think you are going to be a great author when you grow up! Or maybe write Die Harder movies....

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Oh my gosh, I cant stand it! MOL! Drug crazed uzi carting kitties! I'm dying here!

Fuzzy Tales said...

OMC, you and your mom just made our human crack up laughing! Brilliant!

Rumour has it that we have some of this stuff on the way to us, so it should be interesting to see how we react, if at all. :-)

The Cat From Hell said...

Bwahhh! Haaa! Haaa! Me is laughing so hard me has water coming out my eyes! Trouble yous a hoot!
kisses
Nellie

Hannah and Lucy said...

We just loved that story -it was a story wasn't it - you aren't a major player in funny stuff are you - no unless you're a gangster's moll!!
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Eric and Flynn said...

What a great story. Are you sure you weren't at the silvervine first though?

GRAÇA said...

I'm a kitten named Kika and temosamigos in common, as such I would love to be your friend
Will you be my friend?
I am waiting for your visit
Turrinhas of
Kika

Luxington said...

MOL! You're a great story teller Trouble...

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Wow, Trouble, you might have averted WW III with your bravery. (Have the cats in the white coats arrived yet?)