How Trouble Saved the Grocery Industry From Ruin
Kitties, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I had a very exciting adventure at the Grocery Store to tell you about. The bad news is that since I **may** have posted something earlier in the week about Sassy’s bed that angered her, Mommie made me take
Old Lardbutt, er, Sassy with me on my adventure this week.
One day this week I awoke to the awful realization that we were completely out of cat food. I don’t know how this happened, possibly because Mommie has been on a 5 day drunk and passed out cold on the floor. Well, since we had not been fed in almost three whole hours, I knew that I had to do something fast or face total starvation within the hour.
I grabbed Sassy and quickly ran and jumped into my specially modified corvette (correctly called a catvette). Stuffing
Old Lardbutt Sassy into the front seat was difficult, but shortly we were ready to zip off to get some emergency food and maybe some coffee to sober Mommie up. I did not get to the store as quickly as I had hoped, due to having to stop and help a woman on the side of the road who had gone into early labor. She had triplets and it was a good thing I was nearby as Sassy didn’t do anything except wring her paws and say “Oh, Lordy, Miz Callie, I don’t know nothing about birthing no babies!”.
Unfortunately, this delay meant that it had now been four hours since food. I was starting to feel weak and light headed and Sassy was gnawing on the dashboard. Luckily I did not have a look for a parking space for my Catvette, the store, in hopes that I would visit more often, has a specially marked “For Callie Only” parking space up front.
Between being asked to give diet tips (everyone likes to receive diet tips from a world famous model like me) and signing autographs, it took almost 30 minutes to pick up my weekly supply of caviar and filet mignon. After having my picture taken with the store manager (he was so proud I picked his store to shop in), it was time to stuff Sassy back into the front seat of the Catvette and return home.
I have no idea what this annoying little furball is talking about. One day this week Mommie did go to the store to buy some hamburger. When she returned, Callie woke up long enough from her nap to stiff at the bags….although how she got drunk Mommies, women giving birth, special parking spaces, and filet mignon out of that, don’t ask me!