Friday Songs With Callie: America The Beautiful

Kitties - as all of the American kitties know, next week we will celebrate the 4th of July.  Now, I know the noisy, what is the point of them fireworks makes this holiday not a favorite.  So I thought I would try to brighten it up with a song.  Maybe this would be a good song you can sing it as loud as possible to drown out the fireworks?  Today's song is "America The Beautiful" by Katherine Bates. Are you ready to be patriotic?  

O beautiful large hammacks,

For green waves of ‘nip,
For glorious silvervine snacks
And some fat bacon strips!

America! America!

Cod shed Her grace on thee,
And give us many good nipitinis!
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful without conceit,

We are the greatest cats
About our lives we shall tweet
Across the blogosphere.

 America! America!

Cod mend hoomans many flaws,
Confirm the shelf has temptations,
Mine meow is law.

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

Trouble's Tall Tales: Yoga

Kitties – I am going to use today’s posting to teach everyone about Yoga.  As you know, we cats are under constant stress trying to train the slow witted humans.  So today I checked out a book on Yoga.  After spending over ten minutes looking at the pictures, I am now, of course, a Yoga expert.  I have found three poses that if you will practice them will leave you relaxed, rested, and well-fed.  Just follow my directions.  Are you ready?

Pose 1 – Downward Facing Dog / Upward Facing Dog Pose

I found this pose to be especially good for releasing all of your tension and aggression.  Here is what you do:  Go find a dog – your brofur or that annoying yipping dog next door will work well for this.  Tell him there are treats at the top of the stairs.  Once the mental giant goes up there, stand behind him and give him a hard push.  If you do this right, the dog will land upward facing or downward facing – either way I guarantee you a FUN time!

Pose 2 - Fish Pose

After dealing with the dog, you will have probably worked up an appetite, so this next pose is perfect.  Go to the pantry and get out a can of tuna or salmon.  Pour contents into a bowl and take it to the nearest mirror.  Practice looking beautiful while scarfing down entire can. 

Pose 3 – Cat Pose

So you are now relaxed from kicking the dog around and full from the whole can of salmon, time to do a pose to rest and cool down after all of your hard work.  Find a spot to lie down, preferably the human’s favorite spot to sit, then fall asleep.  If you can manage a little drool onto the human’s spot, all the better. 

So, does everyone feel relaxed, rested and well-fed now?

Mystery Cat Game - Round 2

Kitties - are you ready for Round 2 of the Mystery Cat Gam This week should be easy as the mystery cat is a well known, well loved star of the cat blogosphere.  For those of you just joining us, here is how the game is played.  Each Wednesday (or really Tuesday Night) we are going to feature a mystery blogosphere cat. We will, at first, give one hint as to who this kitty is. If no one guesses correctly, in a few hours,  we will post another hint and so on until someone guesses who the Mystery kitty is.  Get ready to make your guess!

Mystery Cat, Round 2
Clue #1
I know that some kitties are very colorful characters, but really I am a mancat that just likes everything in black and white!

Clue #2
Okay, kitties, lots of great guesses so far, but none right yet.  Here is clue #2 - be right to type fast, because this clue will totally give it away.  Clue #2- VROOM, VROOM!!

From The Guesses So Far:  It is not Max The Psycho Cat, Kozmo, Milo, Mr. Puddy or Austin.

THE SOLUTION
Okay, everyone - we have a winner.  Angel and Kirby of A Wizard and An Angel correctly guessed Harley, the brofur of Daisy The Curly Cat.  When you get a chance, hop on over to congratulate Angel and Kirby and let Daisy know what her brofur, the Harleymaniac has been up to!

A Kiss For Bravery

Kitties - today is a special post.  Recently, the brave and handsome Austin, placed his very life in danger to defend his territory from a criminal element.  Details are still coming in, but obviously one of the well known vicious cat gangs of Wales tried to insert a look alike kitty in Austin's place.  Probably because, you know, he is a local celebrity since starring in Real Housecats of the Blogosphere. Austin bravely went cato to cato with the introoder and saved the day! 

Austin, here is a kiss (*blush*) for the boo-boos you got defending your family!

Monday Musings With Sassy: Politics

Kitties, the subject of today’s Musings is Politics.  As we get closer and closer to November, we kitties are getting more and more bombarded by boring, mean Political ads.  Ads, I might add, that are taking up space that cute and interesting Meow Mix commercials could be running in! 

We kitties have to listen to the politicians yammering on about Social Security, taxes and economy.  I have not yet heard one of the politicians discuss the more important subjects of Nip Supply and Demand, prison terms for humans who use the word NO, and elimination of treat budgets. 

Instead of all of these boring commercials and debates, why don’t they do it the why cats do?  Have a televised Smacky Paw fight between Obama and Romney.  Voters could make their decision based upon who got in the best swipes. 

Friday Songs With Callie: Mousies and Nip (with Kozmo)

Kitties, today's song is a very special one.  I am performing a duet with my Sweet Ba-Boo, Kozmo!  He has a beautiful bass voice.  Our song is one that was done by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley called Leather and Lace.  But we are kitties, what do we care about leather and lace?  Our song is called "Mousies and Nip".  It will to bring a tear to your eye. Got your kleenex ready?

(Sung by Kozmo)

Lovers forever...face to face

My mountains or your city

Stay with me stay

I need you to love me

I need you today

Give to me your nip...

Take from me...my mousies

(Sung by Kozmo and Callie together)

You in the moonlight

With your sleepy eyes

Could you ever love a cat like me

And you were right

When I walked into your house

I knew I'd never want to leave

(Sung by Callie)

Lovers forever...face to face

My city or your mountains

Stay with me stay

I need you to love me

I need you today

Give to me your mousies

Take from me...my nip

Round 1 of Guess That Mystery Kitty

Kitties - Sassy and Callie here.  We are going to start a game today that we are going to play each Wednesday.  Now, we know that traditionally in the blogosphere Wednesday is for Wordless Wednesday, but that is just not working out for us.  You see on Wordless Wednesday you are supposed to pose a cute picture of your kitties.  But lets be completely honest here - - Mommie sucks at taking pictures.   We promise in real life we are not blurry and out of focus, only in the pictures Mommie takes!

So here is the game we are going to play.  Each Wednesday (or really Tuesday Night) we are going to feature a mystery blogosphere cat.  We will, at first, give one hint as to who this kitty is.  If no one guesses correctly, in a few hours, we will post another hint and so on until someone guesses who the Mystery kitty is.  Don't worry, we will make this first kitty easy to guess just to get the game started. 

So are you ready to play Guess That Mystery Kitty?

Mystery Kitty #1

Clue #1
Hello, my name is ___________.  I must be a huge fan of the band Culture Club.  Earlier this year I re-enacted a line from one of their songs.  Who Am I? 

Clue #2
Well, no one got that clue.  The answer by the way was "I'll Tumble 4 Ya" and not only did I, but the human got a picture of it!  Now, for clue #2:  My first name (although I am unually called by my nickname) is the same as Dora The Explorer's cousin.

Clue #3
Hmm, the kitties have not guessed my name yet - maybe everyone is distracted by Blogpaws?  The answer to #2 is Diego.  And now for Clue #3:  I loves me some ham!!

THE ANSWER
Okay, everyone, I have been identified.  Cat of Cat's Cats correctly guessed I am Hammy, or to be more formal Diego Moonfur, Rumbles Brofur.  Please stop by and let Rumbles know the gig is up, I have been identified!

Belated Monday Musings With Sassy: Desserts

Part 2 of Many Parts on Why Cats are Smart Than Humans

Kitties, I sitting here musing about desserts.  Humans eat these after their meal.  Sort of a delayed treat.  My Mommie is absolutely obsessed (or is that obese!) about desserts.  She plans her meals around them; dreams about them; and looks at the dessert section of the menu first.  But I do not understand these desserts things.  Obviously, this is yet another way that cats are superior to humans.  You will understand this statement when I explain about the selections. 

1.      Pies – these are round things with a bread crust usually filled with fruit.  Mommie’s favorite is cherry, with is a small, red, round, sour thing.  Really?  Bread and sour fruit? If a cat ordered a pie it would be Sardines with a Cat Nip crust.

2.      Cake – these are also round things, usually two layers covered with an overly sweet sauce.  Mommie’s favorite is Red Velvet Cake – which ironically enough has nothing to do with the color red or velvet!  Now, if cats ate cakes we would have a Shrimp Cake with chicken broth icing. 

3.      Cookies – Again round things (what is this thing with round stuff?) sometimes with an icing inside.  Mommie’s favorite is chocolate chip.  Now a kitty cookie would be Silvervine flavored with tuna chunks. 

4.      Candy – Okay, I can’t even go there – Mommie’s favorite is Snickers.  That’s right – she eats something that sounds just like the things she wears on her stinky feet all day!  Humans! 

What desserts would you improve upon?

Kitties - I am Peacock strutting PROUD!  Nellie nominated ME, (not the Spotted Airhead) for an award!  I am supposed to share one illuminating fact.  So here is my fact: 

I am sure that everyone knows about the budding romance between Kozmo and Callie (ugh, teen
love - gag me with a spoon).  The truth is that sometimes I am a little jealous of the Spotted Airhead's romance.  I don't mean Kozmo, because I am like old enough to be his Great Grandmother, but I sometimes think that I would like to have an older gentleman cat friend.  Except I am very shy.  I would much rather retreat to Under The Bed than meet new cats.  I mean what if they don't like me?  And if I had a gentleman cat friend, he would probably want to go to parties with new cats I would have to meet.  As you can see, Callie and I have very different personalities (Thank Cod!)  Maybe someday I will get up my nerve to have a gentleman cat friend!

And now for my nominations (I know that a lot of kitties have already received this, so please forgive if you have already received): 
1. Minchie of Laila and Minchie because he seems like a very nice laid back kitty.
2. Flynn because he is such an accomplished hunter.
3. Noir because he is a Texas kitty like me.
4. Kjelle Bus because it is always interesting to see how Translator will screw up his blog!
5. Kozmo because the Spotted Airhead is threatening to hold her breathe until she turns blue if she doesn't get to hear an illuminating fact about him.

If you are nominated then you have been awarded the Illuminating Blogger Award. Just follow the steps below:

1. The nominee should visit the award site (http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/) and leave a comment indicating that they have been nominated and by whom. (This step is so important because it’s the only way that we can create a blogroll of award winners).

2. The Nominee should thank the person that nominated them by posting & including a link to their blog.

3. The Nominee should include a courtesy link back to the official award site (http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/) in their blog post.

4. Share one random thing about yourself in your blog post.

5. Select at least five other bloggers that you enjoy reading their illuminating, informative posts and nominate them for the award. Many people indicate that they wish they could nominate more so please feel free to nominate all your favorites.

6. Notify your nominees by leaving a comment on their blog, including a link to the award site (http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/).

Friday Songs With Callie: We Are Family

Kitties,   As most of you probably know, my handsome and brave Sweet Ba-Boo's dog sisfur is going to have eye surgery next week.  I know that he is worried about this as he loves his sisfur - even though she is a dog.  This song is called "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge.  I am singing this song for him, so that he can sing it back to Bob as she recovers.  I am sure my Sweet Kozmo has a wonderful bass voice!

We are family

I got my dog sisfur with me
We are family
Get up everybody and sing

 Everyone can see we're together

As we walk on by
and we play in the garden together
I won't tell no lie
all of the people around us they say
But that’s a cat and a dog!
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose

We are family

I got dog sisfur with me
We are family
Get up everybody and sing!

Remember Kozmo to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

Trouble's Tall Tales: My Near Death Experience

My Near Death Experience

As told by Trouble

Wild exaggerations clarified by Mommie

Oh, kitties, I had a very rough night last night.  Here’s what happened.  The household had retired, Mommie was in bed snoring.  I was sitting up late on a video call trying to help Marc Jacobs with his new fashion line (Oiy, he has the lines all wrong for this season!) when suddenly I was hit with a crippling pain.  It was a pain unlike any I had experienced before.  I knew that this was the end.  My thoughts turned to the future. 

     What would my beloved Kozmo do without his Sweet Pea? 

    

How would the fashion industry survive without   

 my input?

    

 Would the music industry collapse without my

  songs? 

With my last remaining strength, I weakly crawled up the bed to be near my Mommie and then was horribly sick.  (Trouble had a rather small and mild hairball last night.  She did jump up on my bed beforehand so that she could bomit all over my clean sheets.  I am almost sure however, that had nothing to do without the fact that she was mad at me for fussing at her before bed.)

For a while there was talk of rushing me to the Mayo Clinic for emergency medical intervention. But I managed to be brave and tried to recover at home.  The next morning, as if I had not suffered enough, Mommie decided to give me some foul medicine.  With an evil laugh, she grabbed me off the floor and wrapped me up like a mummy in a towel.   I am pretty sure my blood circulation was cut off!  Since this “medicine” was not FDA approved and I knew she was looking for revenge just because I *might* have accidently bomited on her bed, I was determined not to take her poison.  I clenched my teeth and held my breath.  Apparently Mommie could see the determination in my eyes and gave up trying to force the poison down my throat.  Or maybe it was the four places where I drew blood that did it……By way of apology (which I richly deserved!) she gave me as a treat, this new breed of Salmon.  It was called an H-A-I-R-B-A-L-L Remedy Salmon.  I am not sure if this was a Pacific or Atlantic breed, but other than its somewhat weird texture it was pretty good.    (Uhmm, yeah, the Hairball Remedy Salmon was a treat….)

I feel much better this afternoon.  Other than a strange desire to visit the litter box more often than normal, I have recovered from my near death experience.  (I on the other hand am still wearing bandages…)

CatOlympics: Best Nippy Face

Kitties – Sassy and I are very proud to announce that we are hosting a CatOlympics event this year!  We will be hosting the “Best Nippy Face” Event.  Show us your best Nipped Out moment.  Since we are not the drug police – it’s okay if the face was brought about by Silvervine or Valerian Root also.  Since this is a new event this year, I had Mommie go to the innernets to find examples of classic Nippy Faces. 

So these are the rules. Here's how to enter:

1. You must submit your entry to us no later than Saturday,  July 14th (whatever time zone you're in).
2. You must email me your picture, together with the name of the cat competing AND a link to your blog by sending it to loca4gatoATgmailDOTcom.
3. Competing in this event means that you are giving us permission to use your picture for the Cat-O-Lympics 2012.
4. No photoshopping allowed.
5. Every cat can enter each event once.
6. Entry is open to all cats. You do not need to have a blog to enter.

Huffle Mawson is Queen in Charge of these Olympics.  Please contact her if you would like to host an event.  Here is a list of the other events being hosted during the Olympics:

Allie, Ellie, Tamir, Cubby and Clifford are hosting Smackdown
Wally, Ernie and Zoey are hosting Synchronised Snoozing.

Cory and her family are hosting Balance Beam.
The Katnip Lounge kitties are hosting Counter Surfing
Penelope and Kozmo are hosting High Jump.
DaisyMae Maus is hosting Team Lounging.
Kashim, Othello and Salome are hosting Fierceful Jawning - give us your biggest yawn.

Monday Musings With Sassy: Cats Are Smarter Than Humans (Part I of Many, Many Others)

Kitties -  while I have of course always known this, lately I have been thinking more about how much smarter than a human cats are.  For example:

Speed

Humans have other humans who spend their days regulating how fast they may go.  If they don’t like how fast the human is travelling, the human will receive a ticket that they must pay a lot of green papers to make go away.  When we kitties feel like zipping around the house, we just do.  There are no rules.  And there are no penalties for it.  Unless of course you are a certain Spotted Airhead Callie who shall remain nameless and frequently gets to going so fast she runs into the sliding glass door….repeatedly….

Sleep

Humans have certain times when they go to sleep, called “bedtime”.  They use alarms to wake them, rather they are ready to get up or not.  When we cats want to sleep, we just do – no drama!  We don’t use any stinking alarms.

These are just two examples of human inferiority to cats.  Can you think of others?

Friday Songs With Callie: Another One Bites The Dust

Kitties  - as many of you read yesterday, I risked my life to save the house from a vicious cyborg fly.  Naturally, this act of bravery has spawned a rewritten song.  This song is "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen.  Are you ready to sing along?

Trouble walks warily down the hall

Belly slung down low to the floor

Going to be a knock down vicious brawl

Soon that fly will be a corpse

Are you ready,
Are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the meows rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!

Trouble's Tall Tales: Invasion of the Killer Bug

- Or –

How I Saved The World From A Vicious Crazed Bug

Story provided by Trouble, clarification of the wild exaggeration provide by Mommie.

Kitties, I had a scary and danger filled morning.  After I finished my conference call this morning with the event planner for the Queen’s Jubilee (he is so needy, I had to lead him though the whole process), I walked into the living room only to discover Mommie frozen in fear in her chair.  The living room had been invaded by a vicious, death wielding mutant house fly.  It was as big as me and red glow in the dark eyes.  (Uhmm, no conference call and actually it was a small house fly that I didn’t even realize was in the room)

Although I had never fought such a huge bug, I knew I had to save my Mommie’s life, so the battle began.  The vicious, crazed bug and I met in the middle of the room.  Tragically, the bug got in the first strike, but I quickly recovered and started backing the creature from Hell into the corner.  The battle raged on from the living room to the dining room and into the kitchen.  Each time I thought I had the creature cornered, he managed to twist away.  I am pretty sure it was part cyborg.  (Well, the “battle” did move from room to room, possibly because Trouble kept jumping at the bug and missing….)

Finally, I managed to pin down the crazed, wild eyed monster, but not without a few injuries of my own.  As I held the creature down, I looked into its insane eyes.  It could see the death awaiting it, and cowardly took its own life rather than face up to its sins.  (Trouble might be a little sore tomorrow, possibly from the many times she jumped up in the air and DID NOT land on her feet.  I don’t know for sure, but I think the bug actually died from laughing itself to death)

Wordless Wednesday: Pensive Sassy

Is This A Hangover?

Kitties - Mommie here.  There will not be a Monday Musings With Sassy today.  This is due to two problems.  The first is we had plumbers out to the house this morning.  Sassy said to tell everyone sorry, but she ain't coming out from Under The Bed for nothin'.

The second reason is a with a problem I am having with Callie.  Against my better judgement, I let her go to Truffle's Deb Ball  unchaperoned.  She promised me she would only have one or two nipitinis.  But I think she might have had a few more than that as this is what she looked like yesterday. 

Is it just me or does this not look an awful lot like a hangover?