Trouble's Tall Tales: My Near Death Experience

My Near Death Experience

As told by Trouble

Wild exaggerations clarified by Mommie

Oh, kitties, I had a very rough night last night.  Here’s what happened.  The household had retired, Mommie was in bed snoring.  I was sitting up late on a video call trying to help Marc Jacobs with his new fashion line (Oiy, he has the lines all wrong for this season!) when suddenly I was hit with a crippling pain.  It was a pain unlike any I had experienced before.  I knew that this was the end.  My thoughts turned to the future. 

     What would my beloved Kozmo do without his Sweet Pea? 

    

How would the fashion industry survive without   

 my input?

    

 Would the music industry collapse without my

  songs? 

With my last remaining strength, I weakly crawled up the bed to be near my Mommie and then was horribly sick.  (Trouble had a rather small and mild hairball last night.  She did jump up on my bed beforehand so that she could bomit all over my clean sheets.  I am almost sure however, that had nothing to do without the fact that she was mad at me for fussing at her before bed.)

For a while there was talk of rushing me to the Mayo Clinic for emergency medical intervention. But I managed to be brave and tried to recover at home.  The next morning, as if I had not suffered enough, Mommie decided to give me some foul medicine.  With an evil laugh, she grabbed me off the floor and wrapped me up like a mummy in a towel.   I am pretty sure my blood circulation was cut off!  Since this “medicine” was not FDA approved and I knew she was looking for revenge just because I *might* have accidently bomited on her bed, I was determined not to take her poison.  I clenched my teeth and held my breath.  Apparently Mommie could see the determination in my eyes and gave up trying to force the poison down my throat.  Or maybe it was the four places where I drew blood that did it……By way of apology (which I richly deserved!) she gave me as a treat, this new breed of Salmon.  It was called an H-A-I-R-B-A-L-L Remedy Salmon.  I am not sure if this was a Pacific or Atlantic breed, but other than its somewhat weird texture it was pretty good.    (Uhmm, yeah, the Hairball Remedy Salmon was a treat….)

I feel much better this afternoon.  Other than a strange desire to visit the litter box more often than normal, I have recovered from my near death experience.  (I on the other hand am still wearing bandages…)