Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Trouble's Tall Tales: My Near Death Experience

My Near Death Experience
As told by Trouble
Wild exaggerations clarified by Mommie
Oh, kitties, I had a very rough night last night.  Here’s what happened.  The household had retired, Mommie was in bed snoring.  I was sitting up late on a video call trying to help Marc Jacobs with his new fashion line (Oiy, he has the lines all wrong for this season!) when suddenly I was hit with a crippling pain.  It was a pain unlike any I had experienced before.  I knew that this was the end.  My thoughts turned to the future. 

     What would my beloved Kozmo do without his Sweet Pea? 
    
How would the fashion industry survive without   
 my input?
    
 Would the music industry collapse without my
  songs? 

With my last remaining strength, I weakly crawled up the bed to be near my Mommie and then was horribly sick.  (Trouble had a rather small and mild hairball last night.  She did jump up on my bed beforehand so that she could bomit all over my clean sheets.  I am almost sure however, that had nothing to do without the fact that she was mad at me for fussing at her before bed.)


For a while there was talk of rushing me to the Mayo Clinic for emergency medical intervention. But I managed to be brave and tried to recover at home.  The next morning, as if I had not suffered enough, Mommie decided to give me some foul medicine.  With an evil laugh, she grabbed me off the floor and wrapped me up like a mummy in a towel.   I am pretty sure my blood circulation was cut off!  Since this “medicine” was not FDA approved and I knew she was looking for revenge just because I *might* have accidently bomited on her bed, I was determined not to take her poison.  I clenched my teeth and held my breath.  Apparently Mommie could see the determination in my eyes and gave up trying to force the poison down my throat.  Or maybe it was the four places where I drew blood that did it……By way of apology (which I richly deserved!) she gave me as a treat, this new breed of Salmon.  It was called an H-A-I-R-B-A-L-L Remedy Salmon.  I am not sure if this was a Pacific or Atlantic breed, but other than its somewhat weird texture it was pretty good.    (Uhmm, yeah, the Hairball Remedy Salmon was a treat….)

I feel much better this afternoon.  Other than a strange desire to visit the litter box more often than normal, I have recovered from my near death experience.  (I on the other hand am still wearing bandages…)

19 comments:

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Well I think you showed her. I am glad you are recovering.

Brian said...

That was a close one, but I sure am glad you survive the whole ordeal!

Sparkle said...

Wow, Callie, you had a near death experience and then your human tried to torture you? What kind of house do you LIVE in???

P.S. In her corrections, I see your human did not deny the fact that she snores.

Katie Isabella said...

Oh Callie, that was harrowing. What an awful experience! Thank goodness you are mending!

By the way, we should talk...I have many ways to bomit and make it tuff on my mom.

Pee ess word on the street is there will be a house trashing pawty tomorrow...just saying'....

The Island Cats said...

Whew! That was a close call, Callie! We were worried about the fashion and music industries too.

Cat said...

We are glad you survived the ordeal Callie!!!

The Cat From Hell said...

Oh my dearest Sweet Pea! Are you OK! I shall cove over and give you immediate mouth to mouth! I will even interupt my Vole and Mouse and Mole patrols to come to your side! I could bring you a freshly caught Mousie for a snack! My hairy slobbery sister Bob wants to thanks you for your kind words. Bob is a little worried abouts the operation but she says she has not been able to sees out of that eye for awhile. She will be happy when the headaches is gone.
Kisses
your sweet Ba Boo

Oui Oui said...

Callie, how do you live through all the drama at your house? A lesser kitty would be in the hospital!

Laura and Taffeta Rose said...

My goodness, Callie! What an awful experience! We are happy that you are recovering nicely. Purrs.

Taffy

(I am familiar with this routine - and have the scars to prove it. Hope your wounds heal well and soon. Laura)

Kjelle Bus said...

Glad to hear that you survived your mom´s attack and start to feel better again :)

Laila and Minchie said...

OMC! We had no idea this was going on! So happy to hear things are back to normal!

Rykers Boyz n Allie said...

Allie: *paw to heart* Oh my, Callie! My heart's palpitating at the news! Was LifeFlight on stand by, just in case????

Hannah and Lucy said...

We are so sorry to hear you had a dose of the bomit due to some rubbish that you had been fed instead of the most luxurious foods available. We have felt your pain and hope your new treat helped to make you feel lots better.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Fuzzy Tales said...

Callie, our mom just about spit out her water reading this. OMC, too funny! (She thinks.)

We, on the other hand, acknowledge your courage and bravery in the face of incredible hardship and illness and tip our imaginary hats to you.

Carolyn said...

Callie I think you and Austin were separated at birth!!!! That’s all I’m saying …. as I’m laughing too much !!! :D

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Horrors!
I have to ask, are you comforting mommy for her injuries sustained in trying to save your life?

Oui Oui said...

We aren't sure what VET stands for, but it sounded good, didn't it?

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Only FOUR? I hope you at least gotted to lick up the bloods while they was still a little warms? Mmmmm, tasty!!

Karl and Oscar said...

We are glad you are OK!

How wonderful of you to give Marc Jacobs guidance. We were named after two fashion greats, and are constantly immersing ourselves in the fashion world thanks to our mom! We too lay awake at night worrying about fashion and what is becomming of the people around us who don't seem to know what it is!

- Karl & Oscar