Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Trouble's Tall Tales: Yoga


Kitties – I am going to use today’s posting to teach everyone about Yoga.  As you know, we cats are under constant stress trying to train the slow witted humans.  So today I checked out a book on Yoga.  After spending over ten minutes looking at the pictures, I am now, of course, a Yoga expert.  I have found three poses that if you will practice them will leave you relaxed, rested, and well-fed.  Just follow my directions.  Are you ready?
Pose 1 – Downward Facing Dog / Upward Facing Dog Pose
I found this pose to be especially good for releasing all of your tension and aggression.  Here is what you do:  Go find a dog – your brofur or that annoying yipping dog next door will work well for this.  Tell him there are treats at the top of the stairs.  Once the mental giant goes up there, stand behind him and give him a hard push.  If you do this right, the dog will land upward facing or downward facing – either way I guarantee you a FUN time!

Pose 2 - Fish Pose
After dealing with the dog, you will have probably worked up an appetite, so this next pose is perfect.  Go to the pantry and get out a can of tuna or salmon.  Pour contents into a bowl and take it to the nearest mirror.  Practice looking beautiful while scarfing down entire can. 

Pose 3 – Cat Pose
So you are now relaxed from kicking the dog around and full from the whole can of salmon, time to do a pose to rest and cool down after all of your hard work.  Find a spot to lie down, preferably the human’s favorite spot to sit, then fall asleep.  If you can manage a little drool onto the human’s spot, all the better. 

So, does everyone feel relaxed, rested and well-fed now?

13 comments:

Noir the Texas Tabby said...

All our neighbors got dogs---and two weenee dogs next door always yip yip at my human Tommy...hmmmm. :)
Thanks for coming by my blog--we got water restrictions here too--but Tommy can't remember when they are--so our yard will be brown any day now...

Noir

Eric and Flynn said...

We think we can manage that. We will soon feel very relaxed.

Nerissa said...

This yoga thing sounds great! I'm gonna try it tomorrow, for sure. purrs

Sparkle said...

Callie, this is an AWESOME Yoga lesson! I feel totally empowered.

The Island Cats said...

We're gonna go try those yoga poses right now. But we gotta find us a woofie to push.

savannahspawtracks.com said...

whoa ho!! Yoga!! Mom only lets me do pilates...but now I have some Yoga stuff to figure out! way cool, Callie...and BTW I have tried to follow you but still don't get our posts...I will keep trying...paw pats, Savvy

The Cat From Hell said...

Callie - Sweet Pea,
I got into trouble! I had Cinnamon at the top of the stairs and Mommy picked me up and smacked my bottom just as I was going to push her! I said, but Mommy, I'm only doing yoga, I read it on Callie's blog! And Mommy said, you are getting more and more like Nellie every day. Then she put me outside!
Kisses
Your sweet Baboo

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Now THAT'S the kind of yoga I can really get on board with, Callie! (Oh, and I guess I shoulda known you wouldn't be so *obvious* as to choose Kozmo, MOL!)

Carolyn said...

Callie, Austin says thanks. He could have done with knowing this before the Battle of the Black Cat ;) He will try No 1 on Tigger though. Purrfect !!!!

Daisy said...

Now that's my kind of yoga!

Kjelle Bus said...

Thank´s for the great yoga tip´s !
I´m going to call for our neighbors silly dog right away *MOL*

Hannah and Lucy said...

We might have to practice the fish pose lots of times to get it just right.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Lily said...

I can't do Pose 1, but I'll be sure to practice Pose 2 and 3 over and over!