Sunday, September 30, 2012

Does Anyone Have a Hacksaw Handy??

Kitties - Sassy here.  Mommie broke it to us today that she is going to be put away for 72 hours of observation on vacation.  I blame Callie.  Its all her fault.  Its always her fault.  Now the men in white coats are going to take Mommie away Mommie says she needs a vacation.    While Mommie is locked up on vacation next week we will not be posting.  Mommie is sending us to a dark, dank terrifying prison deluxe expensive pet boarding facilty.  Does anyone have a hacksaw handy?

Callie here.  It is not my fault.  I am a perfect little angel (hack, hack - okay, even I choked up saying that!).  Since we are going to be held prisoner all week, I thought I would leave my fans with a special song.  It used to be called "Folsom Prison Blues" by the late great Johnny Cash.  But my version is called "Boarding Prison Blues". 

I hear the dogs a barkin'
They’re hollering all night,
And I ain't smelled any good nip,
Since, I don't know when,
I'm stuck in Boarding Prison,
And time keeps draggin' on,
I hope it’s a bad rainin’,
On Mommie in San Antone.

Well, if they freed me from this prison,
If that Mommie would come home,
I bet I'd work up a good hairball,
Smack on her new suitcase,
Don’t like my Boarding Prison,
Until Mommie comes back,
I’ll just meow as loud as I can,
Meow my Blues away.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Callie's Back And She Has A Schedule!

Kitties - this is the Mommie here.  I did not post yesterday, because Callie had herself quite a day yesterday.  I was too busy running from one mess to another too fit a post in!  I am sure that Callie must of made herself up a schedule in order to be able to fit in all of this mischief.  I think it went something like this........

5:38 am - Wake up Mommie.  Why?  I don't know, just seemed like fun at the time. 

5:49 am - Bite Sassy's tail.  Why?  Why not?

6:09 am - Meow as loud as possible for no reason what so ever.

6:37 am - Get receipt off of Mommie's desk and tear into very small pieces.  Scatter the pieces as    much as possible.

7:02 am - Make a running charge at Sassy so that she has to jump out of the way. 

7:39 am - Go into dining room and jump on table, even though I am not allowed on it.  Why?  Because I can.

8:12 am - Pry open kitchen cabinet door, get inside and make desperate crying noise until Mommie comes.  Calmly walk out when she opens the door. 

8:54 am - Sneak up on Sassy as she is sleeping and whap her.  Why?  Because I am bored.

10:30 am - Sneak into the garage when Mommie goes out there, even though I am not allowed out there.  Run and hide in an area that Mommie can not get to. 

10:54, 11:39, 12:31, 12:59  - Do not answer Mommie as she desperately calls for me in the garage. 

1:20 pm - Stand at garage doorway wailing and demanding to be let in immediately.

2:36 pm - Steal Sassy's favorite nip toy.  Why?  Because its there.

3:40 pm - Try to get out the back door when Mommie opens it, even though I am a strictly indoors only cat.  Make Mommie chase me around patio a few times. 

4:59 pm - Knock items off dresser.  Why?  They make a funny noise when they hit the floor. 

6:33 pm - Bat food off of Mommie's plate when she answers phone.  

10:28 pm - Steal Sassy's bed. Why?  Well, it must be comfortable since she sleeps in it all of the time.  Plus she is mean to me - I don't know why......

I am exhausted.  Does any one know of a good cat demon exorcist? 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Happy Birthday Kozmo!!

Kitties, today is my Sweet Ba-Boo's birthday!  He rescued me just in time for the party!  This is a picture from his 1st birthday.  Didn't he grow up to be a handsome man cat? 


Monday, September 24, 2012

The Exciting Conclusion

Kitties - are you ready for the exciting conclusion of The Callie CatNapper Caper?

Go to Kozmo and Nellie's bloggie to read more about the great adventure. 

Nellie sent a note to Tex (otherwise known as Ol' Egg Roll Breath).  He was so happy he started dancing around.  And believe me, that was not a pretty sight - even with me trying to give him lessons!

When we arrived at the planned meeting place I was feeling a little hungry so I ordered a lobster.  For some reason, this really upset Ol' Egg Roll Breath.  Who knows why?  Nellie and I decided to seize the moment and attacked him! 

Nellie and I bravely fought the criminal for hours (okay, really it was only about 43 seconds, but making the fight last a long time just makes the story sound better, don't you think?).  When we got him to the ground we covered him in his beloved egg rolls!

Then my hero, Kozmo came in.  I have missed him so much.  Isn't he just every young cat's romantic dream?

And that is the end of our great adventure!  I am going to stay at Nellie's and Kozmo since his birthday party is tomorrow.  Aiyee - I only have one day left to find a special dress for the party, get my furs fluffed and shined and find the just right tiara to wear (Kozmo did break it to me that Tex really does not own Tiffany's and that I have to return the bling-bling, but I can wear it tomorrow before having to return it!)

Sunday, September 23, 2012

When Last We Left Our Heroine.....

Kitties - when last we heard from our heroine, she was singing her heart out for her hero!  The story continues.....

I sang for my My Brave Kozzie for a long time - until my voice started giving out.  Then I tried to get Crazy Guy to exercise with me - because you know all of those egg rolls have gone straight to his hips. 

But he said his ears were bleeding too bad to exercise.  Whatever..........

Since the hero song made me very sad and lonesome for Kozmo,  I went back to my bedroom (can you believe Ol' Egg Roll Breath actually questioned why I should get the master bedroom instead of him!?!) to play with my bling-bling.  Everyone knows that a little bling-bling can cure anything!

While I was back there, I started hearing a scratching noise.  At first I figured it was just Crazy Guy unwrapping another egg roll so I ignored it, but then I realized that it was coming from the window.  It was Nellie!!

At first I was ready to get out of there NOW, but Nellie convinced me that we needed to do this in a way that would punish Crazy Guy. Plans were made. 
To be continued.........

You can read more about this adventure on My Sweet Ba-Boo's bloggie.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

A Post and a Song From Callie

Kitties - I asked my catnapper if I could make a post today.  I think that he said yes - I am not sure.  I think that I may have played a little too hard with his mind and broke him!  He just sits in the corner of the room rocking back and forth, repeatedly mumbling to himself - bad kitty....sore feet....Oh Cod no more many times can she say the name Kozmo in one I even like egg rolls, I don't remember.........

I am sure that my Kozmo is looking for me, and in fact I saw a plane circling the area that looked a whole lot like the FBI plane Sassy and I took to London.  But there are so many condos here, I don't know how he is going to find me, and I don't know the number myself since ol' Egg Roll Breath blindfolded me before bringing me here.  I know - I will start singing as loud as possible and my Sweet Ba-Boo will hear me!  I will sing him Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For A Hero" song. 

Where have all the good cats gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's my street-wise Sweet Ba-Boo?
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a tux kitty upon a FBI plane?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream
of my sweet Kozzie

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a tux 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a tux 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Final Note From The CatNapper

Kitties - Sassy here.  We have received another note from the catnapper.  Kozmo and Nellie are on their way to save her now.  Now, I tried to be the voice of reason here.  I really think that we should have studied upon this a little more.  Maybe sent the note off for DNA testing first.  Sure I know that DNA testing can take up to 3 months to be completed, and I am heartbroken, just heartbroken over the delay in bringing Callie home, but I am sure she would understand......

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Kitties - Earlier today, Mommie was saying that I seem to be enjoying Callie being catnapped just a little too much.  So I have been practicing my "worried" look.  Does this one work?

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Next Note From The CapNapper

Kitties - we have received another note from the catnapper. You know, I am not sure at this point who is suffering the most - Callie because she has been catnapped, or the Catnapper because he has Callie with him 24/7!  


Saturday, September 15, 2012

A Post From Callie

Kitties - My  catnapper has allowed me to post this on my blog - I wanted to post it on Kozmo's blog, but the catnapper said no, the FBI might be able to trace it.    I can't give any clues about where we are because the Egg Roll breath, ugly fur wearing, stupid nerd has demanded to read it first before I can post it.

Once we got to our next stop, he logged on to Nellie's blog to stare for a while at her pictures.  While he was doing this, I was calmly reading over his shoulder and commenting on things (he said this should read breathing down his neck and screeching in his ear, but whatever, he is a bit of a drama queen!) 

And then, Kitties, my heart stopped.  I read the comment that mean ol' King Spitty left about how Kozmo should just forget about me and get himself a new girlcat friend because I am too much trouble.  And I got to thinking.....I did misbehave and sneaked outside to explore the eggroll.  And he is having to run all over the country looking for me.....

Kozmo, I am sorry I was naughty and gotted caughted. I am sorry you having to search so hard for me.   Please do not listen to Spitty and get a new girlcat friend! 

P.S. - The catnapper wanted me to leave this question for Nellie:  Just who was that male cat in the Nellliemobile with you???  You know, if he didn't know any better, he would think that you have not been true to him all of these years the way he has been.... (don't worry, I turned my hysterical laughter at this comment into a cough sound!)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

A Second Ransom Note

Kitties - we have received a 2nd note from the catnapper.  Callie's Kozmo is already on the case.  I don't know who to feel the most sorry for - Kozmo for having to run all over the country searching for her or the catnapper for being stuck with her!

Here is a copy of the note we received: 


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Sassy's Countdown

Kitties - Sassy here.  I am holding down the house while Callie is gone.  And not enjoying the not at all....well okay a little...

Here is my countdown: 

On the good side: 
**Number of hours since I heard Callie wailing howling screeching singing:                        108 hours

**Number of hours since I have heard the phrase "My Sweet Ba-Boo is just so....":              110 hours

**Number of hours since Callie has offered to gave me a make over:                                     114 hours

On the bad side:
**Number of hours since I have given out a good whapping:                                                  115 hours

**Number of hours since I could blame Callie for something I actually did:                          106 hours

I guess I am about ready for the Spotted Airhead to come home!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Post Card From Callie

Hello, this is the post office in San Francisco. We received this post card and obvisiously can not figure out where to mail it.  We are scanning it into to return address blog.  In the future, please use a more exact mailing address. 

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Callie Here - Is Anyone Home???

Hello....Is anyone there?? 

Kitties - you will never believe what has happened to me!  I have been CatNapped!  Can someone tell my Sweet Ba-Boo to come save me - I do not like it here.  I know that Kozmo is looking for me because he is so smart and brave. 

I found an old video phone with just a little bit of battery left to send this plea for help. 

The cat that catnapped me is one of Nellie's old boycat friends.  And Nellie - girlfriend - I have got to say, your taste in boycat friends sure has improved!  Do you know he smells just like eggrolls?  And his fur - aiyee - do not get me started on that!  It is completely dull, why I bet he hasn't been to a cat spa for a conditioning treatment in weeks!  It is not shiny and beautiful like my Kozzie's at all.  And all he talks about is Nellie this and Nellie that...don't you just hate it when cats go on and on about their sweetheart?

Kozzie, come get me.  I am in...........

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Callie Has Been Catnapped!

Kitties - Sassy here.  So there I was yesterday enjoying my Spotted Airhead free time, when suddenly I realized that I have been having more free time than normal.  Callie had not shown up for the usual Friday Wailing Screeching Howling Songs and she never misses that!  I then realized that it has been 14 hours and 23 minutes since I last heard any phrase that started with "My Sweet Ba-Boo is so......"  and that is some kind of record!  So I started visiting all of her favorite places and I found this note by her favorite window sill: 

Now, I will admit that my first thought was to hide the note and let the catnapper keep her.....but I guess I would miss her a tiny bit!  I have been in contact with Nellie and Kozmo (I refuse to call him that insane nickname) and they are working on it.  Has anyone out there seen a harassed looking cat with a tied up Spotted Airhead in tow?

Thursday, September 6, 2012

A Puzzling Thing..... A heart, Nellie and an eggroll

Kitties - Today, while sitting in my favorite window spot, I again felt like someone was watching me.  I looked out and this is what I saw. 

A heart drawn in the dirt with the name Nellie inside and a half eaten eggroll.  Could this be about my Sweet Ba-Boo's sisfur, Penelope?   What does this mean?  I think this weekend when Mommie is not watching I am going to sneak outside and see if I can figure this out. 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Case Of The Bling-Bling Collar

Kitties - Something has happened!  My bling-bling collar is missing! Has anyone seen it?

 I feel so, so....**nekkid** without it. 

Hey, kitties - look at what I "found"....Doesn't it look beautiful on me....hehehe....

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

What To Do With A Pesky Sisfur?

Kitties - Sassy here.  I need to ask the advice of you kitties out there with sisfurs and brofurs.  Okay, here is what is happened.  Yesterday, I decided to go sit in Mommie's lap.  I jumped up in the chair and what do I find?  The Spotted Airhead was in MY Mommie's lap.  Now it is true that I do not often want to sit there, but the point is it is MY lap!!  I of course, hissed and swatted at her and chased her off, but I must make sure this point was received.  So what do I do now? 

.......Photoshop comprising photos of her with another mancat and email them to Kozmo?

........Scratch the word MINE into Mommie's stomach?

.........Hide her best bling-bling collar so that she must appear "naked" in her next photo shoot?

What do you suggest?