I AM A STAR!!!

ITS HERE, ITS HERE!!!

The first episode of The Real Housecats, Season 2,  I am practicing my pawtograph skills now. 

Trouble's Tall Tales: Trouble Goes Antique Shopping

Kitties, recently I have been spending time in the Real Housecats house and have come to realize the whole yard sale look Mommie has going on in her house just does not work for me.  I need to upgrade my crib.  So I decided to go antique shopping in Dallas. 

The first store I went to specialized in French Antiques.  I found a very nice Louis XVI bed.  I was interested in it until the guy working there started telling me about what happened in Louis XVI in real life.  He got his head chopped off!  Man, talk about your bad ju-ju!  I just could not buy it – I mean I need my head, how would I wear my bling-bling collar without a head?  Time to move on to the next store. 

Next I went to a store that specialized in Southwest furniture.  I didn’t stay there long.  Most of their furniture was made with cowhide and that just made me so hungry. 

My final store was a store that carried furniture made by the Amish.  I liked the clean and simple lines of this style, but then I discovered that these people believe in simple living.  If I got some of this furniture, would I have to give up my luxuries like ‘Nip, Silvervine and my heated bed?  No thanks!

My shopping trip was not successful. 

 I think that if MTV Cribs calls, I’ll just be “unavailable”!

Update on Hollywood Criminals

Kitties, Sassy here.  I have an update on Nellie’s and my legal situation in Hollywood.  As you will remember, we were arrested after Nellie went Ninja cat on a cop. 

Luckily, Catman, a.k.a. King Spitty was able to break us out.  After sunning herself out by the pool, and having a few Nipitinis to calm down, Nellie went to visit her friend Cody.  I stayed out by the pool.  Soon a nice older mancat came up and asked why I looked so upset.  When I told him about what happened and about my fear of being re-arrested, he laughed and said not to worry, he could take care of it with one swipe of his paw. 

Well, I heard from him today and it is all taken care of!  As it turns out, his human was the Director of Information Services for LA Correctional System.  All he had to do was wait until his human left the computer on and presto! all records of our arrest have been wiped. 

BTW, when I talked to him last night he mentioned that the policeman Nellie went Ninja on is not doing well.  It seems that he has been put on administrative leave.  He has been seen running up and down the hallways meowing at the top of his voice.  He has told people he has a sister with curly fur and asked people to start calling him Yahama, Honda or some motorcycle name……

Nellie – I think you played too hard with the policeman and broke him.

Monday Musings With Sassy: Hollywood Cats

Kitties, Sassy here.  We are back from Hollywood.  We went there for the premiere of House Cats 2, but the premiere was delayed.  Or maybe The Spotted Airhead got the date wrong.  With her, who knows?

So anyway on to my Monday’s Musing.  While in Hollywood I noticed something.  Very few movies star cats.  Why is that – cats always improve a story!  Here are just a few examples to prove this statement: 

Gone with The Wind – After Rhett says “Frankly, Scarlett my dear, I don’t give a d*mn, and goes to walk out the door, a cat streaks across the doorway tripping him.  He falls, gets amnesia, forgets he doesn’t love Scarlett anymore and they live happily ever after.

Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back – When Darth Vader said “Luke, I am your Father”, just think how different the show would have been if a cat had played this part.  Then the line would have been “Luke, I am your Cat.”  All Luke would have had to do would be slip Darth Vader a little Silvervine.  An  intergalactic fight and several bad sequels would have been avoided. Most important – there would have been no Jar-Jar.

Wizard of Oz – This show starred some wimpy little dog.  If they had used a cat instead, it wouldn’t have not just given the wicked witch a puny bite on the leg, it would have scratched her eyes out.  Then Dorothy would have been in the storm cellar when the storm hit, so not visit to Oz.

(P.S. In case you are wondering why so many of the pictures have The spotted Airhead in them instead of me, that is because she actually wants to be a star.  Since being a movie star would involve having to be around people, I have no desire to be a star!)

Do you know of any other movies that would have been improved with a cat added?

Cinco de Mayo: The Day After

Kitties,  Sassy here.  Mommie was out of town on Cinco de Mayo, so Callie talked me into having a "small" party.  Mommie is due back this morning and looking at the house today, I am a little worried.   Do you thnk she will believe Callie's story that there was a rare earthquake in Texas and that our house was used as a shelter? 

Friday Songs With Callie: Another One Bites The Dust

Kitties, if you have been following Kozmo's blog, you know that we have been busy hunting down a desperate tiara thief!  Our hunt was successful, so naturally I wanted commemorate the occasion with a song.  Today's song is "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen (the band, not Nellie).  Are you ready to sing along?

Kozmo and Callie walk down the street,

Looking for a tiara thief

And maybe some yummy sushi to eat

Aunt Betty gonna have grief

Are you ready,

Are you ready for this

Are you hanging on to your hammick now

Out of the doorway the meows sound

Kozmo and Callie take a bow

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone, and another one gone

Another one bites the dust
Hey, we’re gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

Remember to Sing Loud, Sing Long and Sing Often!!

Sassy's and Nellie's Hollywood Adventure: Conclusion

Go to Spitty's blog to read the exciting conclusion of this adventure!!