Kitties – I am going to use today’s posting to teach everyone about Yoga. As you know, we cats are under constant stress trying to train the slow witted humans. So today I checked out a book on Yoga. After spending over ten minutes looking at the pictures, I am now, of course, a Yoga expert. I have found three poses that if you will practice them will leave you relaxed, rested, and well-fed. Just follow my directions. Are you ready?
Pose 1 – Downward Facing Dog / Upward Facing Dog Pose
I found this pose to be especially good for releasing all of your tension and aggression. Here is what you do: Go find a dog – your brofur or that annoying yipping dog next door will work well for this. Tell him there are treats at the top of the stairs. Once the mental giant goes up there, stand behind him and give him a hard push. If you do this right, the dog will land upward facing or downward facing – either way I guarantee you a FUN time!
Pose 2 - Fish Pose
After dealing with the dog, you will have probably worked up an appetite, so this next pose is perfect. Go to the pantry and get out a can of tuna or salmon. Pour contents into a bowl and take it to the nearest mirror. Practice looking beautiful while scarfing down entire can.
Pose 3 – Cat Pose
So you are now relaxed from kicking the dog around and full from the whole can of salmon, time to do a pose to rest and cool down after all of your hard work. Find a spot to lie down, preferably the human’s favorite spot to sit, then fall asleep. If you can manage a little drool onto the human’s spot, all the better.
So, does everyone feel relaxed, rested and well-fed now?